


Like we're gonna die young

by orphan_account



Series: Like we're gonna die young [3]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Denial, Fluff, Gold Sickness, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Slow Build, So much denial, Soulmarks still suck, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, alternate Universe - Soulmarks, but the sucking isn't as strong now I guess, people slowly learning they don't hate each others
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-13
Updated: 2013-11-17
Packaged: 2017-12-20 03:02:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/882168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finding out they all bore each other's Marks had been hard<br/>But as it turns out, it might have been the easy part, and now they have to figure out how to make it all work.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The first time Ori slept with Dwalin was at Beorn’s.

It was just that, just _sleeping_ , because Mark or no Mark, Ori wasn’t in love with the older dwarf, wouldn’t _ever_ be, he was sure of that. He loved _Kili_ , and that was already more than enough trouble, _thank you very much_.

* * *

 

But since the mountains, he hadn’t slept much at all. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw the stone giant falling against the mountain, he heard the Great Goblin’s voice calling to start with him, he saw the tree, and the never ending emptiness under him, he felt himself fall for ever, and he just couldn’t _sleep_.

It hadn’t been a problem at first.

On the Carrock, he’d kept watch with Gandalf (who _never_ slept it seemed) while everyone rested. The old wizard hadn’t commented on his decision to stay awake (not that it was much of a decision) and he hadn’t tried to send him to sleep either, for which Ori was grateful.

He’d never before realized just how dangerous that quest was, how unprepared he was, how out of place. It had been such a stupid decision to come. There was no way he was going to survive this quest. It had been a stupid decision, and he should have stayed home.

He’d fallen asleep, in the end. Several times, and never for long. Nightmares. After a moment, Gandalf suggested he should have a look at the stairs that went down the great rock they were on, to see if they were in any state to be used, and the young dwarf had quickly obeyed.

The day after hadn’t been easy.

The others had slept, but they were still bruised and hurt the lot of them, and hungry too. Most of their food had been taken by the goblins, nothing but a few emergency rations kept hidden on some of them remaining. They ate that, and went down, discovering a lake, and immediately all of them agreed that a bath was more than needed to clean their wounds and get rid of the smell of goblins and blood.

Ori had just started undressing when Kili grabbed him by the arm and dragged him away from his brothers, and toward Dwalin and Fili who were waiting for them.

“What...”

“Wanna be with you,” the young prince explained. “Please, we won’t do anything, not with everyone around, just need to be with you. And I, I’ll check your wounds and you’ll check mine, please?”

There had been something desperate in his voice, and Ori didn’t even think of refusing. The previous days had been hard on everyone, and it would be nice to have a few moments with Kili and Dwalin, propriety be damned. It would have been nicer without Fili, who probably would have been glad to help the Great Goblin cut Ori to pieces, but that wasn’t an option, and he’d just have to ignore the oldest prince.

Fili hadn’t been so dreadful in the end, though. He’d seemed shaken, probably at seeing his uncle in such danger, at being in such a desperate situation, and Dwalin hadn’t looked in a much better state.

“We’ll have to teach you how to climb trees, lad,” was the only thing the warrior said.

Ori hadn’t answered, looking down at the water and washing as best as he could without any soap. He couldn’t have said that he never wanted to get up a tree ever again in his life, but it would have been true. He would have glad lived his entire life without ever seeing another tree, in fact, but that wasn’t an option, not with Mirkwoods standing between them and Erebor.

He’d forced himself not to think of that, looking at Kili’s back instead, and exclaiming at the bruises he found there. The young prince pouted and called him as fussy as Dori, to which Ori answered by taking his eldest brother’s voice to scold his lover, making Kili and Dwalin grin.

And for a few minutes, he’d almost forgotten how tired he had been.

* * *

 

The walk to Gandalf’s friend Beorn’s house had felt impossibly long, and by the end of the afternoon, Ori could barely stand, let alone put a foot before the other. Dwalin had noticed it and helped him, so that by the end of the day the young dwarf was more than half carried by his friend.

Usually Ori would have apologized the whole time, and he’d have felt ashamed of needing help, but he’d been too _tired_ to care.

Some of his exhaustion disappeared once they were in Beorn’s great house, because it was warm there, and there was good food and nice drinks and comfort, and all sorts of things they hadn’t had since Rivendell. But even with all the nice things to eat, even with the burning fire and the old songs to listen to, Dori soon sent him to bed, and he didn’t resist. Beorn had prepared them a nice, comfortable place to sleep, and it would have been a shame not to take advantage of it.

That night brought him as little rest as the ones before. He woke up several times, sometimes due to nightmares, and once because of noises outside, like a great big beast near the house.

He’d given up on sleep after that, certain that he’d see goblins and wargs as soon as he closed his eyes, and he’d gone to sit by the fire until the others woke up. No one made any comment on the fact that he was up before even Thorin or Gandalf, the early risers of the company, but Dwalin did throw him a strange look.

Ori was unsurprisingly tired the whole day. A situation made all the more annoying by the fact that Kili, on the other hand, had slept perfectly well, was full of energy, and more than determined to put said energy to good use while they had a chance for some privacy. As soon as breakfast had been over, he dragged Ori outside and to the back of the house to kiss him soundly. The young scribe didn’t protest, far from it, and for a few moments, he once again forgot how tired he was.

It didn’t last, of course. After a couple minutes of lying on the grass he started dozing, even though Kili’s lips were doing some very nice things to his neck while one of the prince’s hands had found it way under his tunic.

“Did you just yawn?” The prince asked him.

“Is there an answer to that question that will not make you hate me?”

“The truth would certainly not make me angry,” Kili replied with a grin. “I know I’m not much good at this yet, you can tell me...”

“You’re _wonderful_ at this,” Ori assured him with a quick kiss. “No beginner should have the right to be this good. But I’m... I haven’t slept well in... a while now... I’m really sorry, it’s not that I don’t want to, I just...”

“You’re not in the mood, I get it,” the prince cut him with a smile. “Want to try to rest a bit, then? I’ll wake you up when it’s time for lunch, if you want.”

Ori hesitated. There was something very tempting about the idea of sleeping against Kili. They hadn’t been able to do it since that first night at Rivendell, but he had liked it terribly. But at the same time, sleeping _wasn’t_ a pleasant idea at the moment, no matter in whose company he did it.

“I think I’d rather not,” he decided. “I just... nightmares. They’re. Pretty bad, and i’d rather not...”

“Maybe we could ask Oin if he’s got anything to make you sleep better,” the prince suggested, looking worried. “You can’t not sleep for ever, you know. Even uncle sleeps.”

The chances that any of Oin’s things had survived the trip in the goblins’ tunnels were rather low, but Ori still agreed, if only to calm Kili. It was nice to know that the prince worried about him, but at the same time the younger dwarf felt bad for making his lover worry about something so silly. It was just nightmares, he hadn’t even been really hurt, he should have been able to deal with it, really.

As expected, Oin couldn’t do much for them, beside recommending the drinking of milk with honey, if they could find any milk.

“Just like a baby who doesn’t want to sleep, you mean?” Fili laughed after overhearing their conversation. “Mother used to give that to Kili when he was little, because he just wouldn’t calm down for the night otherwise.”

“I wasn’t that bad,” his brother protested. “And it tasted good, anyway.”

“Still a babe’s thing,” the oldest prince sniggered, smirking at Ori and ignoring the way Dwalin was glaring at him.

“No shame in being kept awake by nightmares,” Oin grunted, slapping the back of the prince’s head. “Ask your uncle if he sleeps well, you’ll see his answer. And you, young Ori, don’t listen to that little idiot. More than one who’d have trouble at night after the couple days you’ve had. Get that milk and honey, and come see me again if it didn’t work, hm?”

Ori nodded, but he didn’t feel much better. None of the others had much troubles, it seemed. He knew: he’d watched them all sleep.

“I’ll help you find that milk, lad,” Dwalin decided. “And then, we’ll talk a bit.”

Both Ori and Fili tried to protest at that, the first because he didn’t want to be even more of a bother, the second because he’d made plans for the day, but the older dwarf silenced them both with a look. The young scribe tried to not think about how much more the blond prince would hate him after that, but Fili’s glare made it clear that his opinion of the other dwarf wasn’t improving at all after this. Ori did his best to pretend he hadn’t noticed though, and followed Dwalin into the kitchen, where the older dwarf asked a dog for some milk. The animal barked and left, though whether to get what they wanted or not, they had no way of knowing until it came back.

“It’s really a strange place,” Ori noted, climbing to sit on a chair. “Everything’s so big... I’ve lived in a human town, but it was never so... _huge_.”

Dwalin looked around, and shrugged. _He_ could easily in human towns, Ori knew that, being as tall as the smallest of Men, so maybe this wasn’t as impressive for him. It seemed to take a lot to impress Dwalin.

“What are your nightmares about?” the older dwarf suddenly asked him. “Do you remember them?”

“It’s a bit of everything... the tree, and falling... the goblins and the orcs... the stone giants too... It’s stupid I know, I’m too... I shouldn’t let that bother me so much, I know it...”

There was a moment of silence, Dwalin looking at him in a way that was almost a glare, and Ori started fidgeting his scarf, hoping the dog would come back soon.

“I was younger than you when I first went into battle,” Dwalin said after a moment. “I shouldn’t have gone at all, but Thorin was going, as was his brother Frerin, and they were both younger than me, so my father allowed it. You know about Azanulbizar.”

It wasn’t a question. They had talked about it, once or twice, and more importantly, _everyone_ knew about Azanulbizar. Ori nodded, and Dwalin resumed.

“When I came back, I couldn’t sleep for weeks, nothing more than a few naps here and there. My father had been right, I was too young for that... but I couldn’t even tell him he’d been right, because he was of the fallen.”

The younger dwarf frowned, wondering if condolences were expected of him, and if Dwalin was trying to make him feel better about his nightmare, or to berate him for being disturbed by something as little as what he’d gone through, when other dwarves had survived much worse memories. The first one was more likely of course, but still, Ori felt bad for not being stronger.

“Sleep with me tonight,” Dwalin asked, making the younger dwarf jump in surprise. Before Ori could protest against it, the warrior laughed. “I really mean sleep, lad. If I thought you needed sex, I’d send you to Kili, he’d be more than happy to provide, and you’d accept _him_ more easily than me. But you can’t _sleep_ with him or Dori would skin you, and sleeping with your brothers doesn’t work, so you could try sleeping with me.”

Ori blushed at the idea. It was hardly proper at all, though it was true that his brothers would object to it less than they would to his spending the night with Kili. And there was a certain appeal to it, he always did feel safer around Dwalin...

Which was the problem. It should not have appealed to him. He should not have liked that idea so much, because Dwalin was his friend, and nothing more, and he didn’t want him to ever be more, and he shouldn’t be already thinking of what it be like to lie next to him. Nor should he be wondering how they’d sleep, if Dwalin would hold him close, if he’d feel warm, if he’d feel safe.

Such thoughts weren’t part of Ori’s plans _at all_.

And yet, if there was the slightest chance he could sleep, then he’d take it, consequences be damned.

“It’s worth a try, I guess. Oh, but I’ll have to explain to Dori, or he’ll think all the wrong things!”

“I’ll take care of your brother, lad, don’t worry. Now where that dog... ah, there it is.”

The hound, indeed, had come back, and it carried a small bucket of what could only be milk.

Ori hoped it was sheep milk, or horse milk. He didn’t feel quite prepared for the eventually of dog milk. He was desperate to sleep, yes, but maybe not _that_ desperate.

“Thanks, puppy,” Dwalin said with a small bow. “Do you have any honey too?”

The dog, somehow, managed to frown at being called puppy (and not without reason: it was as tall as Ori), but it still went to fetch a pot of honey, and a mug for the milk. The dwarves thanked it again, and it left, wagging its tail and clearly quite content with a job well done.

“Dogs,” Dwalin grunted, smiling as he mixed the milk and honey. “Tell them they did a good job, and they’ll do everything for you. That’s what’s nice ‘bout them. Did I ever tell you I used to have a puppy?”

Ori shook his head, taking the mug his friend gave him.

“Cutest little thing ever,” Dwalin sighed while the scribe drank. “Thorin and I had found it in Dale, abandoned and half starving, so I took it home and adopted it. Called it Feanor, because it had the wildest temper with strangers, and a bright orange fur.” Ori sniggered, and almost choked on his milk. “Pretty little thing he was, and he was just starting to be well trained when the dragon came.”

“Oh. Then it...”

“I was outside training when it came, and Feanor was in my room. Couldn’t go back to get him. Maybe it’s just as well. There were a few of us that could save a pet or two, and after a few weeks of wandering... well. There’s a point where everything that looks like food becomes food, no matter if it has a name and it used to be your friend.”

Ori didn’t answer right away. Most dwarves in Ered Luin didn’t keep pets, or just sheep or a pig. Always animals you could eat, and not get attached to.

“We’ll get you another dog when Erebor’s ours again,” he eventually said, trying to sound comforting. “I’m sure the princes will be happy to help you with it, too. They’re nothing but big puppies themselves anyway. Fluffy big puppies with too many pointy things. Especially Fili. I wouldn’t pet him. I’m sure he bites.”

“Only if you ask him,” Dwalin laughed. “Come on lad, you sound even more exhausted than I’d have thought. Let’s find you a nice place to lie down, and see if you can get some rest, eh? Everyone’s outside anyway, your brothers won’t bother us, and you look like you really need it.”

The warrior took back the mug to put it on the table, before dragging Ori back to the main hall. It was empty, except for Bilbo, Thorin and Bofur who were finishing breakfast at the table, but they didn’t matter. They were far too busy with each others to care about the rest of the company.

Dwalin found them a nice, remote corner where he put his coat to give Ori a more comfortable place to lie down. And it was comfortable, strangely so, to lay against Dwalin, who wasn’t hard at all, but soft and warm and safe, just as safe as Ori had thought he’d felt.

“Feeling okay, lad?”

“Sleepy,” Ori mumbled. “You’ll stay, right?”

“I will, lad.”

“Even if I have a nightmare and I start yelling and kicking?”

“ _Especially_ if you have a bad dream. Now close your eyes and try to sleep, or I’ll knock you out myself.”

Ori sniggered, and closed his eyes.

And for the first time in days, he slept.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> being trapped in a dungeon isn't a fun experience, and everyone copes in their own way.

It soon became an habit, this sleeping together thing. It was the only way Ori could sleep at all, after all.

Dori wasn’t too happy with it at first, but Dwalin took him to the side and explained things to him. He still didn’t look happy, but he didn’t try to force Ori to come sleep again with him and Nori, and so there was progress.

Fili was furious of this turn of event, but then again, he was furious at everything Ori did, so there was nothing new there. The young scribe was getting rather used to it. At least, that was what he told himself. Just in case, to compensate with having Dwalin for the nights, he tried to stay away during the day, to make sure Fili didn’t have yet more reason to hate him. That was easy enough to accomplish while they were at Beorn’s, of course. Kili was more than happy to keep him away from Fili and Dwalin, and Ori wasn’t going to complain about that.

In spite of the dangers, he felt happier than he’d ever been.

 

* * *

 

Mirkwood changed that.

There could be no happiness in Mirkwood. It was too dark and oppressing to allow any good feeling to happen, and the trees made Ori feel sick. It made the nightmares come back, even Dwalin’s proximity no longer enough to keep them at bay, not all the time at least. He still had a few peaceful nights, but as time went on, they became the exception rather than the rule.

The worse was the elves’ dungeons, though.

They had all been separated, and Ori didn’t even know where the others were. The elves only seemed to remember about him when they had to feed him (and Mahal, _food_ , proper food, he could have kissed them for that, after weeks of starving) or to ask him if he wanted to cooperate.

He didn’t.

He just wanted to sleep, and not dream of falling, or of goblins, or of spiders.

 

* * *

 

Kili wasn’t in a much better state.

He didn’t like not having anything to do. He didn’t fear monsters and enemies, but boredom was the one thing he couldn’t stand, and it always made him do stupid things. As a proof of it, last time he’d been as bored as he now was, he’d ended up snogging Ori.

Which admittedly had turned out pretty well in the end, but he couldn’t have known that at the time, and technically, it hadn’t been his brightest idea.

At least, this time he wouldn’t be kissing anyone, because elves weren't pretty enough for that.

But he still was bored out of his wits, so he started chatting with one of the elves, a tall lady with bright red hair. She wasn’t pretty as such, far too elvish for that, but she was pretty nice, with a good sense of humour, and clearly not too happy with the situation, which only made her nice.

“Kings and their bloody pride...” was a comment that often came back in their conversations. It could come from either of them, and since there wasn’t much they could actually say to each other without risking betraying their respective side, they would then both roll their eyes knowingly and smile at each other.

Kili did try to get news from the others, though. On that too, Tauriel couldn’t say anything, but by the end of the first week, they had developed a code of sorts between them. They would pretend to talk about elvish legends (of which Kili had a good knowledge, thanks to lesson from his mother, and to the time he’d spent with Ori) and they had tacitly given to each member of the company an elf hero. Thorin might have been pleased to know he was Gil-Galad, though Fili and Dwalin might have liked it less if they had known that Tauriel had dubbed them Celebrimbor and his dog Huan.

It made for interesting conversations, if nothing else, and it kept him away from boredom, at least for a little while.

* * *

 

Dwalin wasn’t bored.

He had no time for it.

By his third day in his cell, he already had a strict routine going on. He woke up before the elves brought him his first meal, did push-ups until breakfast, ate in quiet, grunted at the guards who asked him if he was finally going to cooperate, handed them back his plate. Between that and lunch, he did a variety of exercises, to get himself in good shape once again. He’d lost weight and muscle during their travel in the forest. He had to do something about it, or he would be useless on the day they finally managed to escape.

And they would escape. Bilbo had not been captured by the elves after all, and if anyone could get them out of there, it was their hobbit.

After lunch, he would rest a little, and braid his hair and beard. It was not normally a thing he would have done in such a shameful situation, but it kept his hands busy and his mind free. Gave him time to think about how they could get out of there. Bilbo had his ring, but it would never be enough to make them all disappear. They would have to find another way, then. He hadn’t had a good look on the place when they had first arrived, but he had a feeling the place was a maze. Wouldn’t be easy. But they would make it. They would find a way.

Once he had rested properly, he would train again, until dinner, and then train again after it. Dwalin wished he had something he could use to pretend he had a weapon, but he knew better than to ask the elves. Not one of the tall bastards could have overcome him in a fair fight (or an unfair one. He wasn’t above fighting dirty when he had to, and he’d have done it gladly against some of these tall ones) but he was in a cell while they weren’t, so the advantage was theirs, and they knew it well.

The hardest part of the day came after he was done training and tried to sleep.

He’d always end up wondering about the rest of the Company. Some had been still badly poisoned when he’d last seen them. Balin had been green, and Ori had looked ready to pass out in front of Thranduil, though whether that had been due to the spiders or only to hunger, he had had no way of knowing. He wished he had a way, _any way_ , to get news of the lad, to know how he was healing, if he was eating enough, if he managed to sleep alone.

He worried for the princes too. Not the sorts to take well to being trapped somewhere, these two. Wouldn’t know how to _wait_. 

He could only hope things would be well for them.

 

* * *

 

When Fili received a visit from Bilbo, it was a blessing. It had only been two days, but still, he might have gone mad without someone to talk to.

“Any news from my brother? From Dwalin? Ori? My uncle?”

“You’re the first I’ve found,” the hobbit announced. “But I’m sure I’ll figure out where they all are very soon, don’t worry. How are you, though? Healing fine from the poison?”

Fili shrugged. He’d been one of the less affected, really. He regretted having been forced to cut his moustache and part of his hair, but other than that, he was fine, and he said as much.

“Well, that’s good. Look, I can’t stay long, I want to find the others, and there’s elves patrolling everywhere... do you want me to carry messages to anyone?”

“Tell Kili to try to brush his hair, or it’ll become a mess. Tell Dwalin that I’m looking forward to more sword training with him.” Bilbo threw him a suspicious look there, but Fili ignored it. “Tell my uncle I’m waiting for his orders.”

“I will. Well then, I’d better...”

“Wait! Tell...”

He hesitated. Mahal, this was stupid.

“Tell Ori to try to not get in trouble for once,” he grunted, trying to sound rough and annoyed. “I swear, I don’t know how he manages to get almost killed every time, it’s a bloody bother for everyone.”

“I don’t think he can be blamed for that you know,” Bilbo scolded him. “Most of it was through no fault of his. I don’t get why you’re so hard on him.”

“I am because someone has to be, or he’ll become even more careless and get himself killed. So tell him, okay? I’m counting on you.”

Bilbo rolled his eyes, grumbling and muttering something about dwarves and how they were all a bunch of idiots. He put his ring back on then, and disappeared.

Fili didn't see him again for two days, and even then, the hobbit only brought him news of Gloin, Balin and Nori. Which was welcome of course, especially since they were all well, but they were not the one he was wanting news of the most.

It took Bilbo a full two weeks to find everyone. Kili he'd discovered after four days, flirting with an elf (Bilbo insisted that he was just acting friendly toward her, but Fili remembered what had happened last time his brother had made a new friend, and he was more than suspicious), and his hair a messy mane. The hobbit had great fun describing it, and Fili forgot his worries for a moment, laughing with him.

A few days later, the hobbit had found Dwalin, and Fili felt like a weight was lifted from him. His brother and his lover were safe. Now that he knew that, he could deal with the rest.

Still, he started worrying again when after ten days, there was still no news from Thorin and Ori.

Of course, it was logical that his uncle would be kept somewhere special. He was a king, and their leader. Thranduil must have thought that any attempt of escape would come from him, and thus that he had to be watched more closely, and to be kept far away from the rest of them. Still, Bilbo was actively looking for him, of this he had no doubts (Fili did not want to know what was going on with the hobbit and his uncle, but during their time in the forest, he'd seen them sleep together frequently, often joined by Bofur). And anyway, Thorin was a valuable prisoner, so the elvenking wouldn't ever do anything to him, not if he was half as clever as he was said to be.

Ori though.

Ori always got in trouble.

It wouldn't be a surprise if he'd done it again. That idiot had a gift when it came to making enemies, and this time he didn't have anyone to protect him if he had managed to anger the elves.

Supposing he'd had the time for it.

He'd reacted very badly to the spiders' poison, Oin had even mumbled something about a possible allergy when he'd inspected Ori and Balin, the two most affected.

But Balin was fine now, though he'd been very sick for a couple days, apparently. Ori, logically, should have recovered too. He must have.

Fili hoped he had. Dwalin and Kili would be heartbroken if that idiot died, and Thorin would be furious to have lost their scribe because they needed someone to tell their story, and Dori and Nori would become useless because for some reason they loved their brother and would mourn him, and it would all be very annoying.

So Fili hoped Ori still lived.

 

* * *

 

Ori had rather given up on ever getting out of his cell, or of ever getting news of his friends. He was making the best of it though, because making the best of things was what he did anyway. The first few days had been hard, and he'd been quite ill, or so the elves told him. He didn't remember much, beside being very thisty and having a few very bad nightmare, but it seemed even his guards had worried about him, and for a while he'd even been moved to a different part of the dungeons to make sure all of the poison was gone from his body. He'd been brought back to his cell as soon as he'd been better, of course, but he had a feeling the elves were still watching him closely, in case he had a relapse.

It wasn't all so bad, really. He was quite lonely, but he used this as an occasion to brush up his Sindarin a bit. The guards didn't usually answer, but they did correct his mistakes, so there was always that.

And they hadn’t found his book. It was lucky, really, because they might have learnt too much about their quest. He tried to switch to Khuzdul for anything that he deemed too critical for Westron, but even what he'd written in the common language could put them at risk. So he kept it hidden as well as he could, barely daring to take it out to scribble something in the middle of the night. He probably should have been more careful and not write at all, but he was terribly bored, and now that he was no longer sick, his nightmares had come back. He just _had_ to do something to escape sleep.

So it really was a good surprise when one morning, Bilbo appeared in front of his cell.

“At last, I've found you!” the hobbit merrily exclaimed. “You hid quite well, my boy. Almost won that game of hide and seek, really, but Thorin is hiding ever better. Still, second to last isn't so bad.”

“I wasn't aware I was playing, mister Baggins. How did you get out of your cell?”

“By never getting in,” Bilbo chuckled. “Well, well, you really were in quite a state if you don't even remember that, weren't you? Not that it matters. You seem far better now, I must stay, and that's good. We were all very worried about you, you know.”

“All?”

“Why, yes. I've told you, you and Thorin were the only one I hadn't found yet. I've spent the last two weeks passing messages between everyone. I'll certainly be kinder to my postman after this, you can believe me.”

Ori gasped, and ran to the door of his cell.

“How is Dwalin? And Kili? And my brothers? Are they well?”

That sent Bilbo laughing, and though he managed to keep it quiet, it was clearly difficult for him.

“The three of you, I swear!” he chuckled. “It's quite sweet, the way you all worry about each others. And to answer your question, yes, they are all well. Dwalin has grown even bigger than before, I think. Kili is on first name basis with one of the elves, and they're exchanging archery tips, I think. And Fili is being broody and dramatic, but I suppose it's his duty until we find his uncle again. He'll be very glad to know you're well though, he kept asking after you.”

“Who did?”

Bilbo laughed again.

“Fili, of course. I guess in the end he's just as bad as a tween, acting all tough and mean to you, but he does care a lot.”

Ori grimaced. Oh, the eldest prince certainly would have wanted to know what had happened of him. Probably hoped that the scribe had died, so that he would no longer have to share Dwalin and Kili. Not that Ori could blame him, of course.

“I can't stay long,” Bilbo announced. “Can't risk the elves seeing me, of course. But I've got a few messages for you. Now, what were they... Dori said to stay warm at night, Nori said to keep quiet for now, Dwalin said if you had trouble sleeping you should try to negotiate with the elves for milk and honey since it worked last time, and also that he didn't mind sending you his coat if you think it can help. Which by the way I think is a bit too much, I don't think he realizes how much of a bother it would be to carry that thing all over the dungeons, really! But never mind, I'll do it if I have to, of course. Hm... Kili said he misses you terribly and hopes you are well and if the guards aren't nice to you, you should tell him because he'll tell his new friend to take care of it. And Fili said you should try not to get in trouble this time.... and I've got it all, I think. Do you have any message you want me to carry?”

The young dwarf did have a few messages, indeed, which he quickly told Bilbo. It wasn't much, just a few words of reassurance for his brothers, his thanks for Dwalin's offer, and a teasing joke for Kili, but just the idea of talking to them, however indirectly, made him feel much better.

“I think I should remember all that quite easily,” Bilbo said when he had finished. “And for Fili? Don't you want to tell him anything?”

Ori frowned. He most certainly did not. But his silence might appear like an insult, meaning Fili would take it as one, and that would not end well. The prince had made a slight effort since their stay at Beorn (and Ori rather suspected that had been the reason of a small fight between Dwalin and him) but it would be wise to not do anything that might anger him.

“Just... I thank him for his advice, and I hope he's well treated, something like that. You can make it sound better if you want. You're good at being nice and polite.”

It was the hobbit's turn to frown, as if he hadn't expected that, but he didn't insist, and soon left.

Ori didn't mind.

He already felt a good deal less lonely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know people have worried about whether Fili would ever warm up to Ori.  
> I hope that reassures you a bit?  
> They WILL all get together, but it will take them some time.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laketown is a nice place, Dwalin loves locks, Fili makes an effort and Ori gets some time to work

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a fluffy chapter of fluffyness were all goes right  
> enjoy  
> while it lasts

Some days, Dwalin wasn’t sure what to think of his relation with Ori.

It didn’t help that the lad was probably as confused as he was about the whole thing.

Strangely, it had all been easier to accept when it was just the two of them, brought together by Marks they didn’t want and the shared pain of unrequited love. It had been a little strange maybe,but they knew where they stood, they knew what to expect, and while even then, Dwalin had felt sure that with a little time they would grow to be more than friends, the whole situation had felt... easy.

It wasn’t easy anymore.

Not with Fili stealing kisses from him whenever he could, and Kili regularly negotiating to be put on watch duty at the same time as Ori.

Not with Kili openly saying that he didn’t mind having Dwalin’s Mark, but Ori and Fili still looking at each other like elf and orc.

Not with Ori sleeping with him every night, because it was the only way to protect him from his nightmares.

Dwalin liked that last bit. The idea had come out of the faint memory that after Azanulbizar, sleep had come more easily when he had someone near him, someone he could trust. In his case, that had usually meant Balin or Thorin. He was glad he could do the same for Ori now.

Not that there hadn’t been a few awkward moments. Thank Mahal he usually woke up before Ori, and so could reposition himself so that the boy wouldn’t notice Dwalin’s morning wood... or if he did notice, he never said anything about it. Both were quite as likely. The lad could be oblivious when he wanted, and he was also fairly good at pretending that things he didn’t want to exist weren’t there. One just had to look at the amount of denial he had toward the two Marks he bore that weren’t Kili’s.

Ori had decided that the youngest prince was the only one who had a place in his heart and his bed, and he wouldn’t let anything change his mind about it.

* * *

  
It was still in Dwalin’s arms that he jumped when Bilbo opened his cell in the elves’ dungeon even though Kili was right there too, and Dwalin’s hand that he took, refusing to let go of it until the moment when he had to get into his barrel.  
A part of Dwalin’s brain reminded him that with Dori there, Ori couldn’t have taken the risk of being too open in showing affection for the prince, whereas _he_ was safe, since Dori had already given him a shovel talk. But he was sure that wouldn’t have stopped the lad, if he’d felt like being with Kili at that moment. Instead, he’d chosen to spend what little time they had with Dwalin.

“See you again in Laketown if we survive,” the boy had joked before Bilbo closed his barrel. “If I die, take good care of our princes. I’m counting on you.”

“If you die, I’ll bring you back just to punch you for leaving me alone with these two idiots,” Dwalin replied with a forced laugh. “That’s all you would deserve.”

“I’ll try not to die then, but only ‘cause it’s you.”

And that had been the last he had seen from Ori for more than a day.

Of course, after that much joking about the boy not daring, Dwalin should have expected that his damn barrel would have a leak.

As it turned out, Mahal must have loved him, because he did survive, though only through sheer dumb luck, he was sure of it, and at that moment, he hated Bilbo (they all did, of course... a feeling that went away once they got used to breathing freely again). Not that he had much time to complain to him, though. As soon as everyone had been freed from their barrels, Bilbo left with Thorin and the princes, leaving the rest of the company to fend for themselves.

That was when Dwalin had realized that Ori was in an even worse state than him. The lad looked the way he did after one of his nightmares, panicked and ready to flee or bite, until the moment Dwalin pulled him close for a hug. Then and only then did the young dwarf relax and start properly breathing.

“I think I’ll add barrels and rivers to the list of things I never want to see again in my life,” Ori mumbled against Dwalin’s shoulder. “I’m never again listening to Bilbo, I swear.”

“He did get us out, and he got us out alive. All of us. Not so bad.”

“I suppose you’re right. Fine then, I’ll never listen to him again, unless I absolutely need to because he’s the only one who can save us. How does that sound?”

“Smart. He’s done a lot of saving us lately, after all.”

Ori sniggered, but didn’t answer, and stayed in Dwalin’s arms until a group of men came to invite them to join a feast. Hungry as he was, the warrior almost regretted that they had been found so quickly.

* * *

  
Laketown was a nice enough place, full of food, beer, songs, and bedrooms with a door that could be locked.

Dwalin had missed those. Locks were a gift from Mahal himself, to allow his people to prosper and be happy and fuck however much they wanted without wondering if someone would accidentally come that way at the wrong moment. Dwalin _loved_ locks.

He loved them even more when one afternoon, Fili suggested that he’d quite like to have both Dwalin and his brother in his bed at the same time, for the sake of experimentation.

An idea that the older dwarf entirely approved of, and that had crossed his mind more than once, but the manner of the suggestion might have been chosen more carefully. For example, Fili could have done it at a moment when Ori wasn’t with them, or better yet, he could have made the effort of including him in the invitation. The young scribe would never have agreed anyway, and it wouldn’t have made his exclusion quite as obvious.

“Sounds like a plan,” Kili said happily, smirking at Dwalin. “Let’s see if Fee’s compliments are well deserved, eh?”

“They are,” Fili assured him. “You’ll learn a thing or two, you’ll see.”

“Oh, I’ve learnt a few things already! Ori is a great teacher, and he knows tons of things too.”

That, Dwalin thought, was _not_ a good thing to have said, and he threw the youngest dwarf a look. Just as he feared, Ori had curled up in his chair at the mention of his name, trying to hide behind his notebook. Any mention of the scribe’s intimacies with the youngest prince in front of Fili was usually a sure way to make him furious, and Dwalin was not in the mood to have yet another fight about that.

But Fili, in a show of unexpected maturity, didn’t say anything, pretending he hadn’t heard a thing and smiling calmly.

Dwalin was... impressed, to say the least. It was probably the first time he’d seen Fili resist so entirely a chance to insult their scribe. That was good behaviour that would have to be encouraged and rewarded. Preferably with some help from Kili, since that was how the evening seemed destined to end. But first, he had to make sure there really were no problems.

“You’re fine with this?” he asked Ori. “If you don’t like the idea of us being together like this... or if you’d like to join us...”

Both Ori and Fili tensed at the suggestion, but the prince remained silent once more, and the scribe managed a weak smile.

“Of course it’s fine. I’m happy the three of you can... have some fun together. And I needed a little time alone, and a night of proper rest, really. It’ll give me time to properly write about our quest and to... rest a little, at last.”

“Are you saying that I’m not letting you sleep?” Kili laughed.

“I am, indeed,” Ori retorted with a shy grin. “I’m not saying that I mind, though. But really, don’t worry about me. I’ve got plenty of things to do, and Dori said he had to cut my hair again, so that’ll be the occasion, and...”

“But your hair’s fine,” Fili protested.

Ori started in surprise, and the three of them stared at the oldest prince in shock. That had sounded suspiciously like a compliment, and Fili’s next words confirmed it.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” he grumbled. “His hair is fine. Much better than that horrible haircut he had in Ered Luin anyway. You should let you hair grow, you’d look less... oh, will you idiots stop looking at me like that? What did I say wrong this time? I’m trying to be nice, isn’t that what you all wanted?”

“Yeah, but we didn’t expect you to... actually _be_ nice,” Kili explained.

His brother glared at him, but wisely decided to not answer that attack, and instead turned again toward Ori.

“Your hair’s good enough like that,” he repeated. “Dori’s good enough with his own, but I doubt he’ll ever do anything but ruin yours. You should ask Nori to help you find how to arrange it instead. He’s got some sense of style, and he isn’t a thousand years old, he’ll manage something.”

“Dori’s younger than me, you know,” Dwalin grumbled.

Fili’s large smile said well enough that he _knew_ , indeed. Damn little tease, the warrior thought, smiling fondly. Calling him old, really. He’d show him what an _old_ dwarf could do. And since Ori seemed quite fine with the fact that he wasn’t included... It was time to find out how, exactly, three dwarves could fit together in a Man’s bed.

* * *

  
_Easily_ , was the answer.

Oh, Dwalin liked his young princes. Clever little things, the two of them, learning very fast, and very eager to do things right.

Kili had been a particularly good surprise. With such an enthusiastic lover, Dwalin wasn’t surprised anymore that Ori didn’t particularly want to explore his other bonds. Kili was curious about everything, and willing to try _anything_. Even after Dwalin and Fili had reached the point where they had been too tired to do anything but sleep, he’d still wanted to keep going.

Dwalin had thought that Ori was joking when he’d said he needed a night of proper rest, but that had probably just been the honest truth.

Which meant they’d have to get Ori to join them, if only because it’d give them a better chance of exhausting Kili.

* * *

  
Unsurprisingly, they overslept the following morning. At least, Fili and Dwalin did. By the time they woke up Kili was already gone, probably to share with Ori everything that had happened during the night. Dwalin wasn’t sure he liked the idea too much, because the last thing their scribe needed was a tale of how well things had gone without him, but there was nothing he could do about it.

But as they came down to have breakfast (lunch, technically, but they weren’t in a mood for technicalities) Dwalin and Fili discovered that the younger prince wasn’t around.

“Thorin caught him at breakfast and decided to take him with him to go visit the Master,” Bilbo told them. “Something about it being educational. I think he just finds it dreadfully boring and didn’t want to suffer alone.”

The idea seemed to highly amuse the hobbit, and Dwalin didn’t have the heart to tell him that Thorin probably really thought this was a great occasion to introduce his youngest nephews to the world of negotiations. Poor Kili. After the night they’d had, he’d probably have trouble concentrating.

“Did Ori go with them?” Fili asked. “He’s not at the table...”

“No, he told his brother he had some work to finish, and that he’d eat later,” Bilbo explained. “But I’m thinking of bringing him a little something instead... If he’s like me, he’ll starve rather than risk losing sight of what he’s writing.”

‘I’ll do it,” Dwalin quickly offered. “You go eat, Mister Baggins, I’ll take care of that.”

It was a good opportunity to see how well Ori really reacted to the fact that he hadn’t been included in their night together. The lad would probably lie if Kili or Fili were around, but alone with Dwalin, he never had to hide. So he grabbed some bread and cold meat, a jug of water, and he went to the room that, technically, Ori shared with him.

“Lunch time,” he announced, opening the door. “Hope you’re hungry lad.”

Ori, as he expected, was sitting before a desk, his notebook open before him. Dwalin had chosen this bedroom specifically because it had that desk, but it was the first time he really saw the scribe using it, and he suddenly understood why: to make himself comfortable, Ori had been forced to steal cushions everywhere he could just so he’d be the right height. It made him look smaller than usual, and oddly cute, in a way.

“Hello Dwalin,” the scribe said, turning his way and smiling. “Had a good night?”

“Good enough, lad. Come on, take a break and eat something.”

“I’m not that hungry,” Ori claimed, but he still jumped down from his chair to come have a look at what Dwalin had put on a small table. “And don’t you ‘good enough’ me! I’ve met Kili this morning, and he seemed very happy. Until Thorin caught him and forced him to go out with him, that is.”

“So you’re... fine with all of it, then?”

Ori threw him a surprised look, before taking the bread and biting into it.

“I _said_ yesterday that I was fine, didn’t I?” he grumbled. “I’m... I feel a little weird about it, yeah, but I don’t mind at all, as long as it makes you all happy.”

“Are you sure? You don’t have to accept the situation just because Fili...”

“Oh, bugger Fili!” the scribe exploded. “I’m... I wouldn’t say I was fine just because I’m worried I’ll make him angry again! I’m... I’m tired of being afraid of him all the time, so I’ve decided I wouldn’t be! And if he doesn’t like it, well, that’s his problem. He’s not even that scary anyway. I’ve almost died so many times now, I know what it’s like to be very afraid, and he’s not scary! Not... not much.”

The young dwarf’s hands were clutching tightly at his piece of bread, making him leaving crumbs all over the floor. He did look a little scared, but not as much as he looked determined.

“I know he hates me, even if he tries to pretend,” the scribe grumbled. “But I can't be afraid of him, because he’s going to be part of my life as long as Kili and you are... and I love the two of you too much to lose you just because Fili’s a dumb ass!”

“You wouldn’t lose us anyway,” Dwalin assured him, putting a hand on his shoulder, and Ori smiled at him.

“That’s nice. But you know, I... He’s an ass, but... he’s never hurt me, you know? Even when he could have, back in Ered Luin... He’s told me quite a few bad things, but I’ve heard worse before, _and_ sometimes it came with blows. So I shouldn’t be afraid. Don’t you agree?”

Dwalin didn’t fully agree, no, because he knew well that words could do worse damage than wounds sometimes, but Fili was making an effort lately... And if Ori started to feel ready to stand for himself in front of the prince, then he was sure things could only improve. Fili was the sort who liked courage, after all, and if his relation to Dwalin and Kili was anything to go by, he also liked people who told him exactly what they thought of him, in good or bad.

There was still hope.

“I think it’s always good to fight your fears, laddie,” he eventually answered. “And I’ll help you if there’s any trouble... but I don’t think there’ll be any.”

“Thanks!” Ori replied with a large smile. “And thanks for lunch. Oh! D’you want to have a look at my notes while I eat? I’d like to have your opinion on it... I’ve gone a little wild with the drawings, because Nori found me a new notebook yesterday so I no longer have to limit myself. Would you look at them, and tell me if you think they’re right? I didn’t have a good look at the spiders, so any help’s welcome.”

“Sounds like a plan to me, lad.”

Ori smiled again, and went to fetch his book. They then sat together on a large couch, Ori huddled against Dwalin’s side even though there was plenty of space. The warrior didn’t protest though, and he started browsing his scribe’s notes, admiring this sketch or that turn of phrase, listening to the comment Ori made between two mouthful, offering criticism when he could, and praising anything worthy of praise.

It was all perfectly comfortable, and they didn’t notice how much time passed. Not until the princes barged in, Kili half falling over Ori and whining about his horrible day, Fili grumbling that he hated them all for leaving him alone with all the boring old people, but still smiling as he sat next to Dwalin to kiss him. They all looked again at Ori’s note then, because Kili couldn’t stand the idea that anything had happened that he wasn’t part of, and they discussed their little adventures, laughing at moments that hadn’t been so funny at the time and commenting on this or that, suggesting an anecdote that Ori had forgotten in his tale.

It was as perfect a moment as Dwalin had ever known.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They get to the mountains  
> And things get bad, as could be expected

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told myself I wouldn't write on anything until I had finished "I had a dream, once" but I've been listening to Ke$ha non-stop this week, and it gave me such OT4 feels that I just HAD to write this...uwu

Fili loved Erebor, of course. It was the land of his ancestors, the place where he’d finally be a prince, not just in name, but in deeds. He loved Erebor. Even if it was the most gloomy and depressing place he’d ever seen, with nothing alive at miles around, nothing but the invasive smell of fire and dragon all over. Even if he missed the comforts of Laketown, and how nice things had been there. He missed the time he’d had with Dwalin, and Kili, and that night where he’d had both of them. He even missed the way things had felt... not quite as bad around Ori (who was still a sneaky little shit, but a... tolerable one, now).

But still, he loved Erebor.

He had to.

It’d have been awful if after all their efforts and sacrifices to get there, he had hated the place, wouldn’t it?

Not that the others seemed in a much better mood than him, of course. Balin didn’t smile quite as much as usual, Dori entirely refused to look at the blasted mountain (even once they were _on_ the damn thing), Bilbo was jumpy and nervous, Dwalin...

Dwalin looked afraid.

It took Fili a while to understand why, but when he did, it hit him hard.

There was something _wrong_ with Thorin.

Things hadn’t been so bad in Laketown, really. Thorin had seemed happy there, with Bilbo and Bofur to keep him company and… do things with him that his nephew would rather not know, thank you. The king was always with them, when he wasn’t charming men into giving them supplies for the rest of their travel… sometimes even then. The Men seemed to like the hobbit and Bofur quite a lot. And Fili didn’t mind about the three of them, really. It had been a long while since he’d seen his uncle smile this freely, and it pleased him. Beside, if Thorin was having fun with two lovers, he might freak out a little less the day he’d learn about Fili and his three soulmates.

It had changed after they’d left the town, but again, they had all grown pretty grim then, so no one had minded.

And they had all been nervous while looking for the hidden door, so they’d all ignored how aggressive their king was then. Damn, Fili himself had been far for blameless, really. Even though he’d promised himself he’d be nicer to Ori, he’d still insulted him pretty badly when he’d found the scribe kissing Kili in a quiet corner, instead of looking for the entrance to the mountain. It wasn’t the worst he’d said, but ‘bastard of a hobbit and a bitch’ had come up once or twice, though he knew that the young dwarf really didn’t like being compared to a halfling.

To his surprise, Ori hadn’t recoiled or tried to escape or pretended he didn’t exist.

Instead, he had just stared right back at him with a blank face until Fili felt so uncomfortable he stopped talking. Then Ori stared some more, until the prince looked away.

“I’m sorry,” Fili eventually said, if only to break the sudden silence. “That was… I shouldn’t have said that.”

“No, you shouldn’t have,” Ori agreed, his voice neutral. “But I s’ppose we shouldn’t have been kissing either. Someone other than you might have found us, and then there’d have been all sorts of drama. And it’s almost dinner time anyway, better go back.”

Fili nodded silently, unsure how he felt about having Ori so calm. Part of him was upset that the young scribe no longer feared him, but he was mostly impressed. He often forgot that Ori was brave, in his own way, but it was… oddly pleasing to have a reminder of that.

And then, as they walked back to camp, Kili walked next to his brother, making them go more slowly than the scribe.

“You apologized to Ori,” Kili whispered to his ear.

“Yes, I… did? Look, I’m trying, okay? It’s not easy being nice to him after… everything. I’m _trying_.”

“I like that’s you’re trying,” his brother told him before quickly kissing the corner of his jaw. “I’ll make sure to reward that as soon as we get some privacy, and I’m sure Dwalin will too.”

Fili felt himself blush. Well. If they were going to reward good behaviour, he certainly would make an effort to be a lot nicer. Being kind to Ori to get laid more often sounded like a nice plan.

  
  


But then, they had found the door, and things had started going… wrong. Very wrong.

It had always been the plan to use Bilbo to send him inside the mountain to assess the situation, of course. It was the sole reason they had taken him with them. But that had been before Thorin took him to his bed. Certainly, the king ought to have felt worried about sending one of his lovers down inside a mountain where a dragon possibly lived. Instead, Thorin made a long speech about Bilbo finally earning properly his share of the treasure (as if he hadn’t already) and doing his job (as if he hadn’t helped them more than once already), before sending him away without so much as a kiss.

Fili understood that his uncle might not want to make their strange relationship public yet (and Bofur was with Bombur and the ponies), but he couldn’t have sent Kili or Dwalin to such danger without kissing them or giving them a few words of love and comfort. Mahal, he might have even kissed Ori in such circumstances, if only to have tried it at least once. But it wasn’t his place to judge his uncle of course, and so he said nothing.

When Bilbo came back, he carried a large gold cup. And if Thorin paid more attention to it than to his lover… well, who could blame him? They all did. It was the first piece of their treasure, after all.

They were all a good deal less happy about that cup when Smaug awoke, and they had to quickly hide inside mountain, and they blamed the poor hobbit for that new turn of event. Fili felt it was rather unfair, since their burglar had done nothing more than what they had asked of him, in the end.

Bilbo still agreed to go back to the dragon, in the end. Mostly because there was nothing else to be done. This time, he had at least a couple kisses from Bofur before he went, and it clearly improved his mood a great deal. Thorin barely wished him good luck, though he did hold him tight when Bilbo came back after barely escaping the dragon’s wrath. Thorin listened to his hobbit, even agreeing to shut down the door of their tunnel on his advice.

Fili thought that was the end of it, and that his uncle had given up on pretending there was nothing between him and their hobbit.

He was right.

He almost wished he weren’t.

  
  


They found not too late after that the way was now safe, and they moved to a guard post where they established their new camp. It wasn’t the most comfortable place ever, but it allowed them to see toward the lake (which was good)  and suddenly offered them a chance for privacy (which was even better, Fili thought). There, they also learned that their kingdom truly was theirs again, for Smaug was dead.

Very soon, most of their time was spent in the treasure room. It was incredibly fun, Fili discovered, to play with the precious things kept there. He had a very nice time covering Dwalin in gold, and then removing it all, piece by piece… not that the warrior seemed to mind. And since Kili and him had found some harps that were still in tune, there was music whenever they had a moment of freedom. Ori, who had found a flute, accompanied them sometimes, and Dwalin would sing when he was in the mood for it, and Fili felt that this must have been what happiness was like.

But then, Thorin started wanting his damn Arkenstone.

It was like all good humour had left him, and he couldn’t stand it in others. When a raven told him that some of their ponies had survived, he sent his nephews to get them, so that they would stop bothering everyone with their silly music.

Fili couldn’t entirely protest against a chance to have some time alone with his brother and lover (Kili spent most of his free time with Ori otherwise, and it would be nice to have him to himself for a little while) but he found the manner of it left a lot to be desired. 

The worse though was to come back after four days, and feel the sudden tension in the company. Everyone was avoiding Thorin. Everyone but Bilbo and Bofur who didn’t really have a choice in that matter because the king refused to leave them out of his sight for a single moment. Bofur didn’t seem too bothered by it. Or at least, compared to Bilbo, he was taking it fairly well. The hobbit looked upset most of the time, upset and afraid.

A creature that had faced orcs and wargs, giant spiders and a dragon. Afraid of his own lover.

Not without reason, too, Fili thought bitterly. Thorin was… rather frightening, getting angry at nothing, snapping at everyone for anything. He even started calling Bilbo a halfling again whenever he was angry… which was all the time.

It got worse when the army of elves and men came to their door.

It became clear, then, that Bilbo rather longed to get out there, especially once the elves started playing music. It made Thorin even angrier than before, and he suddenly ordered his nephews to play a few songs of their own, as if he hadn’t sent them away because of that a few days before. It was a dark, war-like song that they made for their uncle, but at least it pleased him, and he didn’t see that Bilbo only grew more worried.

“Do you really think there’ll be a battle?” Fili heard him ask Bofur.

“No, I don’t. We’re all smart folks, none of us wants that. It’s just a song, pet.”

“And yet if it comes to it, we will fight!” Thorin cheerfully said. “For our mountain, and for our gold. We won’t let elves lay a hand on it, nor thieves of any sort.”

That got him a terrified look from the hobbit, but he didn’t seem to notice.

There was a lot he didn’t notice these days. The next morning, when Bard came to remind the dwarves that part of that treasure belonged to him and his people, Thorin didn’t notice that these claims were just. He didn’t seem to notice either that there were fourteen of them in the mountains, and a lot more outside of it. He didn’t seem to notice that he was declaring a war when, a little later that same day, he tried to shoot a messenger.

Not that the others seemed to mind. They all seemed to agree that the Men and elves were thieves and enemies. Even Dwalin agreed with Thorin, even Ori, sweet and shy Ori, would mumble a thing or two against the army at their door.

“They’ve all lost their mind,” Kili told his brother that night as they kept watch together. “This is madness!”

“Yes, and we’re the only one free from it… we might have to thank Thorin for that. We didn’t spend as long as the others near the dragon gold. Keep away from it, if you can, that stuff is bad. I’d heard stories about it, but to actually see it happen…”

“Ori said he’d grab a bow and shoot the first one who’d try to steal from us,” Kili whispered, huddling close to his brother. “And Dwalin’s gathering arrows, for me he said. I’m _scared_ , Fee. That wasn’t the plan! They helped us, these Men! I get that uncle would be mad at the elves, but the Men...”

Fili nodded, and pulled him closer with a small kiss to his brow.

“Don’t let anyone know that we don’t agree,” the oldest prince ordered. “I think they would be quick to brand us as traitors. I’d suggest we talk to Bilbo and try to figure out a plan, but uncle keeps him close, so… Still, if you can, try to keep Ori away from the gold, and I’ll do the same for Dwalin. We might get them back to normal, who knows?”

It was a fool’s hope, he knew, but it would give them something to do, something that _wasn’t_ making ready for battle… and that was better than nothing.

  
  


Then Bilbo gave the Arkenstone to Bard.

The good news, Fili thought, was that after that, the entire company save Thorin snapped out of their gold sickness.

The bad news was that it had taken Thorin almost killing his own lover for everyone to go back to normal.

Bofur was the most affected, of course, and he almost tried to leave, to join Bilbo, but Thorin forbid it, and they were all too scared of him at that point to dare protest. Instead, they continued preparing for battle, and all prayed that they wouldn’t be the next one to provoke his anger.

It horrified Fili.

Would people be like that to him too, when he’d be king? Would they let him get away with anything, just because he’d been born first in the right family? Would he ever fall to the same madness that had taken his uncle, his grandfather, his great-grandfather? He’d heard people say sometimes in Ered Luin that the line of Durin was cursed, and he’d always thought it stupid, because Thorin was fine, because Thorin was strong and caring, if a little cold and distant. Thorin had always been sane, Thorin had always been a good king… 

Until he suddenly wasn’t.

And it might kill them all. They knew it. They all knew it. And they accepted it, because he was the king, and they would die for him, even though it was unfair, even though they knew he had gone mad…

The thought kept running through Fili’s mind. Thorin had always been a steady point in his life. He’d always felt he could guess what his uncle would do or say on any subject, but he no longer could.

The worst, he thought, was that Thorin had seemed so in love with their hobbit before. And if madness could make him hurt one so precious to him… then it meant that if Fili fell to the same sickness one day, he might hurt one of his lovers, or Ori. And to think that he could inflict pain to Kili or Dwalin…

Just the idea of it made him so sick he had to sit down.

He couldn’t let that happen, never. But how to prevent it? Thorin had been fine the entire time, until they got to the mountain… there was no way to know if Fili wouldn’t break too, all of a sudden, without reason… And if he did, if he ever hurt his lovers…

“You’re not like him.”

Fili jumped in surprise. He hadn’t heard anyone come near him, and it was quite a shock to see Ori next to him, of all people. Looking worried, too.

“You’re not like you’re uncle,” the scribe repeated, sitting next to him. “What he’s done is wrong, but you’re not like him. You won’t fall to the gold sickness like he did.”

“Why wouldn’t I? You did, and you’re not exactly all that greedy or.. dwarvish. I’m not trying to insult you, mind, it’s just…”

“I like paper more than gold, yes. But… Fili, even if you do get sick like we all did, you won’t be like Thorin… because you’re already not like him. You are just, and merciful, and forgiving… and he’s not.”

The prince laughed joylessly. “I’m not forgiving. You of all people should know that.”

“Indeed. Fili, I’ve seen you at the worst of your anger. You could have _kille_ d me, when you found out Kili and I had had an affair, but you didn’t. You _pitied_ me, and forgave him. You were even willing to let me be his lover, even before you forgave me. And now you’re treating me… maybe not as an equal, I wouldn’t go that far, but you’re treating me with respect. Even though you don’t have to, even though you hate me.”

“Dwalin wouldn’t forgive me if I still treated you like shit.”

“You know that’s not just it. He would forgive you. We would have found another way to make things work. Thorin, even when… even before the mountain, he wouldn’t have forgiven the elves. Remember Rivendell? Remember how awful he was to people who hadn’t even done him any harm? You wouldn’t have done that. You’re not like him. You’re _better_.”

Fili stared at the scribe, unsure what to say. He felt… strangely better, though. If Ori, who had no reason to be kind to him, could call him just and tell him that he didn’t have to fear the gold sickness, then things might not be so bad.

“Thanks,” Fili said after a moment. “And for the record, I… I don’t hate you. You’re… you’re not as bad as I used to think.”

Ori grinned, clearly not believing a word of it.

“Thanks. That’s nice of you to say that. Now, why don’t you… go comfort Kili or something? He’s… pretty distressed too, but I don’t think I could help him much. Not… not tonight.”

Fili nodded. For a short second, he almost felt like kissing Ori, for being so… helpful. Nice. For just being Ori. Because there might be a battle in the morning, and Ori carried his Mark too, and part of him didn’t want to die without having at least kissed the last of his soulmates… but he resisted the impulse. He felt sure such a gesture would be unwelcome.

So instead he rose, and went to look for his brother, feeling a good deal less grim.

  
  


Dwalin had felt rather worried when he’d seen Fili isolate himself, and even more when he’d seen Ori go to the prince, but he hadn’t moved. If there was any chance that these two could settle their problems before the battle that was sure to come in the morning, once Dain would arrive…

He couldn’t interfere with that, as much as he wanted to take Fili in his arms and enjoy what might be their last night together.

When the two young ones were done talking, and Fili went to fetch his brother, Dwalin knew he would spend that night alone… or at best with Ori sleeping against him. Which was good, he always liked having Ori next to him, but that wasn’t what he would have prefered. Not on a night like that. Still, when he saw the scribe coming to him, he smiled at him.

“I don’t know what you’ve told our little prince, but it worked well.”

“I just said the truth. We’re going to die tomorrow. I’m done trying to pretend.”

“We’re not dying, lad,” Dwalin lied. “Things will be fine. We’ll protect each other, the four of us.”

Ori smiled sadly, as if he didn’t believe a word of it… and Dwalin couldn’t blame him. Not when he didn’t believe it either. He tried to think of better words to comfort the young dwarf, but found none. What comfort could there be when his closest friend had gone mad and was ready to have them die for his pride?

The warrior startled when he felt Ori’s hands on his shoulder, and he only had a second to notice the air of determination on the young dwarf’s face before he felt lips against his.

It was a shy and tentative kiss, entirely unlike Fili’s or Kili’s. Shy and slow and good, feeling more right than anything Dwalin had ever felt.

“Why?” he asked when Ori pulled back.

“Because we’re dying tomorrow, and I’m done pretending,” the young dwarf said once more. “You are my One, and I love you, even if there’s times I wish I didn’t. It’d be easier if I didn’t, if there was only Kili… but there’s you too, and I’m so scared about losing you. I don’t want to lose you. You’re so important to me, and you’ve been there for so much, and I don’t know what I’d do if you suddenly weren’t there anymore. I need you. And I love you.”

Dwalin pulled Ori to him to kiss him again. That second kiss wasn’t quite as shy. It was desperate and sloppy and, in all honesty, probably not the best kiss Dwalin had ever given, but he didn’t care. That it _happened_ at all made it _good_. He hadn’t exactly given up on someday being Ori’s lover, but he’d thought it wouldn’t happen before many weeks, months, years.

Maybe there was some good in Thorin’s madness after all.

“We can, if you want,” Ori whispered when they had to breathe. “I want it, I think.”

“You _think_?”

It wasn’t exactly the most arousing thing he’d ever heard. If anything, it actually rather ruined the mood. Ori noticed it, of course.

“I’m not sure what I want,” he explained. “But if I’m going to die…”

“You’re not.”

“Still, if I’m going to have to fight for some stupid gold I’m not even sure I want anymore, and thus put my life in danger, I’d rather do if after having been in bed with you. It’s… it’s something about not wanting regrets, you know?”

Dwalin nodded.

It wasn’t quite how he’d pictured his first time with Ori, and a part of him wished that it would have happened in different circumstances. Knowing a lover was having him only because it might be the last night of their lives wasn’t a very flattering thought… but it was better than nothing.

“Come on, lad. Let’s find ourselves a quiet place where your brothers won’t find us.”

Ori smiled, his face lighting up, and kissed him again.

 


	5. how it started for Dwalin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not the BOFA yet, sadly  
> instead, have a POV from Dwalin on how everything started on his side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [mermadesings](http://mermadesings.tumblr.com/) won a fanfic giveaway I did on tumblr, and asked for Dwalin's pov on the beginning of "Shared Kisses" and so here we go uwu

The kids' fight was lasting longer than anyone would have thought.

They might have been princes or nephews to others, or “these two little horrors” when they'd done something stupid, or even just Fili and Kili, but to Dwalin they were _the kids_. Good kids, and he liked them a lot, but they were kids nonetheless. They could reach three hundreds and still be kids to him. He'd seen Thorin utterly fail at changing their diaper after all. Hard to ever get past that.

Beside, he didn't know them that well. Thorin and him were always going here and there to find work for the exiles in Ered Luin.

They were the kids, one blond, the other dark haired, and he wasn't sure which one was which, but since Thorin got confused too, Dwalin figured it didn't really matter. They weren't really part of his life. They were just _there_ , and it somehow felt good to know there weren't far, and that they were happy and careless in a way that Dwalin and Thorin had never been allowed to be, but that was it.

Until the boys had a fight.

It wasn't clear why they had fallen apart, and Dwalin felt he didn't have a right to get involved in that. But it felt _wrong_. The kids were meant to stick together. He could think of anything that might get between them. They were the sort that lived together and would die together, just as close as Soulmates, closer even. What was happening, it wasn't _right_.

But it wasn't his problem, so he tried not to pay it any attention... until one day Thorin told him one of his nephews would be coming with them on their next trip away.

“Which one?”

“Fili. That's the blonde one,” Thorin added before Dwalin asked. “The eldest. He's my heir, I figured it was time he started seeing the world.”

“And you want to test if you'd take him with your if you decided to go home.”

Thorin glared at him, and Dwalin grinned.

“My main concern is to see him ready for his future duties.”

“That's not a no.”

“That is a shut up, I am your king,” Thorin grumbled, trying not to smile. “I did not come here to have you second guess my decisions. I wanted to ask you to keep an eye on him. He is a bright lad, serious and not a bad fighter, but he's never travelled before. I would feel better knowing someone is keeping him safe.”

“Feeling honoured by your trust. And that's the blond one coming, you said. He isn't half ugly... I'm sure it won't be hard to...”

“Do _not_ finish that sentence,” Thorin warned him. “Or I swear I will repeat it to Dis and let you deal with her.”

Dwalin just smirked. As if he'd ever shag one of the kids.

 

That thought was one he found himself repeating often in the following weeks. Mostly because he had to remind himself that this was one of the kids, and that therefore he couldn't be a potential bedmate. Dwalin knew how Dis had raised her boys. They'd learned that a good dwarf didn't fool around with anyone who wasn't their One, and Dwalin knew his Mark couldn't be the kid's. He didn't want his Mark to be the kid's anyway, because he was Thorin's kid and Dis's. It would be awkward.

A quick tumble behind a bush, though? That would have been manageable.

But it _wouldn't_ happen and Dwalin was a _reasonable_ dwarf and so he would stop thinking about that. Very soon, he'd stop.

It didn't help that the kid was easy to get along with. He was smart, with a sharp tongue (which he sometimes used to make fun of his uncle with Dwalin when Thorin couldn't hear them). He was also a pretty good fighter, eager to learn, and it had been a while since Dwalin had had that much fun training with someone.

And it didn't hurt that he was as pretty as a diamond in the sunrise.

Which was a sentence his father used to use to describe his mother, and Dwalin had always thought it was a rather silly way of saying things... until one day the kid had smiled at him for one reason or another, and he'd suddenly understood what Fundin had meant. It wasn't just the perfect beauty of diamond, it wasn't just the light and warmth and brilliance of the rising sun, that smile on the kid's face was a combination of both and it was so beautiful to see it almost hurt.

Not that there weren't clouds on that sun from time to time. The kid had a pretty bad temper when he decided to dislike someone, for one thing. Luckily, that had only happened to people outside their company, mostly Men who had actually deserved his anger. Still, Thorin and Dwalin had been forced to restrain him at least once, and that wasn't good. If the kid was ever going to become king one day, he'd have to work on that (not that Thorin was much better, of course. The number of grudges the old fool still held...)

But still, the kid was a good lad.

And Dwalin liked him. A lot. More than he should have, probably.

But he wasn't in love. He'd learned his lesson long ago, and knew better than to fall for someone whose Mark he couldn't possibly bear.

 

“Do you and Balin get along well?” The lad asked him one night. “I don't see you together often.”

“We do fine, but have our own lives. That, and we get on each other's nerves after a while.”

“Oh. Yeah, I can understand that.”

Dwalin smirked. “I'm not sure you do. Even when we were younger and closer, Balin and me were never like you and your brother. You've been away for months, but you still keep turning to talk to him whenever you see something nice. _I_ never did that, not even when Balin was _there_.”

The kid blushed and frowned.

“I don't do that.”

“Sure you do. It's fine. Five years difference? You might as well have been twins. Your mother was like that with little Frerin. Three years only between them... They were _worse_ than you and your brother could ever be.”

“I didn't know,” the lad admitted.

There was a moment of silence then, as the boy seemed deep in thoughts, and Dwalin didn't want to disturb him. Besides, he didn't mind. He liked laughing with the lad, but even the silences between them were comfortable.

“Do you think that's why mother says that Kee and me are too close?” the boy asked after a while. “Because... because she remembers her own brother?”

“Probably, yes. You kids are a lot like they used to be... and Frerin had lighter hair than Dis and Thorin. Not really blond the way you are, but lighter.”

“Oh, I see.”

The boy seemed strangely relieved, somehow. Dwalin wondered what he could have feared then, if knowing that his mother worried for him because his mutually exclusive friendship to his brother reminded her of her own sibling, taken from her so painfully.

He also dared not say that he sometimes had a feeling that the link between the brothers seemed a little stronger and more intimate than it ought to have been between siblings, something he didn't remember in Dis and Frerin, but Dwalin felt the kid might take it the wrong way. Though come to think of it, there probably wasn't a right way to take it.

“I miss him, you know,” Fili sighed. “He's impossible and annoying, and things have been pretty bad between us before I left... but I miss him so much and there's not a day where I don't wish I hadn't stayed with him instead.”

“Now, I'm hurt, kid. And here I thought we had something special you and me, but now you're saying you'd rather be with your brother? I'm hurt. Wounded, even.”

The boy threw him him a strange look before smiling.

“Ah, mister Dwalin, don't take it that way. We _both_ know I'd be shagging you silly if my uncle wasn't there.”

“I heard that!” Thorin shouted from the other side of the camp, making them laugh. “This isn't funny and if you two idiots don't calm down, I will have to talk to Dis when we're back.”

“And she'd kill us,” his nephew sniggered. “Well, I don't know 'bout you, but I'm not far from saying it'd be worth it. What do you think? Up for a forbidden romance full of intense drama that will get us in terrible trouble?”

“Do we get to fuck before we die?” Dwalin asked.

“No point if we don't.”

“Then we have a deal, little prince. Thorin, could you look the other way for... oh, let's say thirty minutes? And the rest of you perverts too,” Dwalin added, pretending to glare at the rest of the company who was trying hard not to laugh. “Have some shame, we're trying to have a private moment here.”

That had them all laughing, and even Thorin was smirking when he ordered his nephew to join him.

And why wouldn't they laugh after all? The kid was young enough to be his son, and he was a bright, beautiful prince. Any attempt at flirting between them would always be taken as a joke, Dwalin knew that.

He didn't mind.

It wasn't like he was in love with Fili after all.

Was he?


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> after the battle, some things need a little fixing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To celebrate my giving up on Nanowrimo:  
> Have a chapter that I started writing more than a month ago uwu

“If you don’t eat this,” Ori said softly but firmly, “I will have to inform the healer and they will take the appropriate measures to keep you fed.”

Fili glared at him, and then, because Kili had dared to chuckle, he glared at his brother too. No doubt if Dwalin had been there, he’d have been glared at too. Fili had been in a dreadful mood since the battle, though Kili couldn’t really see why. Right after Ori, the eldest prince had been the least hurt in the fight, after all. When Dwalin had a broken arm and a couple broken ribs, and Kili had taken several days to wake up again, Fili had only lost part of a finger, bitten off by a warg, and it hadn’t even gotten infected, which had been nothing short of a miracle, as well as a sprained knee.

And yet Fili treated everyone as if they had personally offended him by just existing, snapping at them every chance he had, and getting into fights with Ori… or at least trying to. The young scribe seemed to take it with a surprising calm, all things considered. Kili have been pleasantly surprised by his lover’s fortitude, if only the scribe hadn’t treated everyone with the same calm detachment.

* * *

 

To be fair, Kili didn’t remember much about the battle. Screams and smells and blood, a sharp pain in his head, and that had been it.

Next things he’d known, he was trying to wake up but his eyes wouldn’t obey him for the longest of time. It felt like it had taken him hours to open them, and then he had discovered that he was in a tent. Before he could try to figure out how he’d gotten there though, he’d heard a cry near to him, a voice he’d recognized at Ori’s.

“He’s awake! Fili, look, he’s _awake_!”

Kili had turned toward his lovers, and for a brief moment, he thought he’d seen the two of them sitting side by side on a makeshift bed… but then in the blink of an eye they were both at his side, and he decided he couldn’t have seen that. There had been progress between Ori and Fili, but certainly not enough progress that they would sit together that _close_. He’d been quick to forget about it though, because as soon as he’d been sure Kili really was alive, Fili had kissed him as if his life depended on it.

“Now that’s a nice way to wake up,” Kili mumbled afterward.

“You have been sleeping for more than a week,” his brother retorted angrily. “Seriously, why did you have to go and try to use your head to kill orcs?”

“Your fault, you always say I have a thick head, while _also_ saying I should use my head more.”

Kili had laughed, fairly happy with his little joke. His brother had just glared at him (for the first time, but not the last) while Ori looked away and left the tent without a word. That last bit surprised the prince a little, because he’d rather expected a kiss from his other lover too, but then the scribe came back shortly after with a healer and food for three, and Kili had to admit he was glad that at least one of them had a practical mind.

After a quick inspection, the healer declared that he seemed well enough, though it was too early to know about any lasting damage, and that they shouldn’t feed him too much. She seemed to approve the thin broth Ori had brought for Kili, gave him few instructions about both princes, and left them alone.

Fili insisted to feed his brother, ‘ _because you don’t look in a state to do it_ ’ and Kili decided to allow it, rather enjoying being take care of, and also because he did feel a little faint. He tried to engage the conversation with Ori while he ate, but the scribe only ignored him and didn’t look up from his own lunch. That worried Kili a bit, because Ori never _ignored_ him. It wasn’t how things had ever worked between them, they kept secrets from each other, such as the fact that they were in love, but they still talked, so _this_ , whatever it was, wasn’t good. Thankfully, Fili talked enough for all of them. That was how Kili learned that Dwalin had been wounded too, and quite badly.

"Only woke up a couple days ago," Fili explained with a quick glance toward Ori. "We weren't too sure he'd make it either. You guys are both too much trouble, I swear."

"Then I'll just die quickly next time, spare you the worrying, eh?" Kili suggested, which he supposed wasn't very nice of him, but at the same time Fili was acting like an ass and deserved no kindness. Beside, he could feel the start of a headache coming.

Still, he regretted his joke when he heard Ori make a pained noise, though at the same time he felt almost glad to get any reaction from his lover.

“Don’t be a dick,” Fili grunted. “If you die, I bloody swear I’ll bring you back to life just to punch you. You are forbidden to die before you’re at least three hundreds. This is an official command from the heir apparent to the throne of Erebor.”

“So I take it uncle made it, if you’re still only the heir. Good to know.”

“Yeah, well, he might still not live long,” Fili said with a cruel grin. “Bofur and Bilbo are taking care of him, and they’ve sorta forgiven him, but they’re making it very clear they’re still _furious_ at him, both for going mad and for almost dying.”

Kili smirked weakly through the growing pain in his head. He felt almost sorry for his uncle.

“You look tired,” Fili noted, sounding and looking far too worried.

“I am. I think I’ll… take a nap or something. You’ll have to… continue telling me about everyone when I wake up.”

“I will, Kee. Get… get some rest. We’ll be here if… _when_ you wake up.”

The younger prince nodded sleepily, and laid back down.

As he drifted to sleep he thought he heard Ori’s voice giving orders to Fili, but he dismissed it as some sort of a dream.

* * *

 

The days that followed were just more of the same. Kili would wake up, be glared at by Fili, get ignored by Ori, eat, go back to sleep. Repeat it all. After a couple days, it was decided he was strong enough to be allowed to move around, as long as he didn't push himself. 

"I wanna go see Dwalin," his first request was. He was worried about others too, about his uncle, but he had to see Dwalin. Fili had agreed to take him to their lover, but had refused to get inside the tent, claiming he had things to do. Kili found it a little strange, but at the same time, he was getting used to the idea that both his lovers had grown weird while he slept.

Dwalin, on the other hand, hadn’t changed a bit. He smiled when he saw Kili, and ordered him to come closer so he might hug him, only to grab him and kiss him as soon as he was close enough.

“You had us worried,” the warrior playfully scolded him. “Don’t do that again, or I think your brother will go mad next time.”

“That’s supposing he hasn’t done so already,” Kili retorted with a cheerfulness he didn’t entirely feel.

Dwalin nodded severely.

“So he’s like that with you too, uh? He’s come once to visit me, right after I woke up, and nothing since then.”

“He’s childish like that sometimes,” Kili sighed with a posture which he hoped indicated that he was thankfully a lot more mature than that. “Still, it’s better than Ori who hasn’t said a single word to me since I woke up,” he added more bitterly than he would have liked.

“Ah. If it makes it better, he’s barely spoken to me either, and then only to give me messages from other people.”

“Hm. It doesn’t really makes anything better, no.”

There was a long silence after that, and Kili took advantage of it to take Dwalin’s good hand in his. The older dwarf looked awful, all pale and grey, covered in bandages and his arm in a sleeve… he looked like he too had only narrowly escaped death.

“Ori’s mother died to a wound to the head, you know,” Dwalin suddenly said. “She got caught in a tavern brawl, someone hit her too hard… she seemed fine at first, but then she fell asleep, didn’t wake up for days, and died.”

“Oh. I didn’t know, actually.”

They’d never really talked about that sort of things, Kili realized. He’d never wanted to talk about his family to Ori, because it made him feel guilty about Fili, while the scribe rarely spoke of his brothers, and never at all of his parents.

Dwalin nodded.

“He wasn’t very old when it happened, I think. And she was the only parent he knew, so it must have been hard on him. Now imagine seeing both his lovers asleep for days, and you wounded to the head too… he probably needs some time to get used to the idea we really made it.”

“And what excuse do you have for Fee’s behaviour.”

“None. Your brother’s just a bit of a dick.”

Kili snorted, and marvelled at how good it felt to just have fun again after the last few days.

“It’s true, actually,” he chuckled.

“Of course it is,” Dwalin retorted with a grin. “But that’s part of why we love him. And really, I think he was just worried. Some people react to it like that. After Azanulbizar, I’ve seen people shout at their kins and their lovers for daring to get injured.”

“Good to know he’s in the norm then. Still, can’t I stay with you now? You’re a lot more fun to be around, really.”

“Ah, wouldn’t I like it,” Dwalin laughed. “A nice little prince to keep me warm… but I’ll have to decline. You move too much, and you steal the blankets.”

“I do not!”

Dwalin only grinned in answer, and Kili pouted.

“I do _not_ ,” he repeated. “And anyway, _you_ snore.”

The warrior laughed loudly, until the young prince joined him, just because he was alive and he _could_.

* * *

 

After spending a couple hours with Dwalin, having fun and _talking_ , it was almost painful, having to go back to his tent. He understood that his brother had been worried (he would have been too) but that was no reason to treat him as if he’d gotten hurt on purpose and needed to be punished for it.

He had no choice, though, because Balin himself came to take him back, and decades of experience had taught him that one just didn’t resist Balin. The old dwarf helped him walk to his tent (much to his embarrassment, Kili needed the help, especially toward the end), giving him news of the negotiations with the elves and the Men, regretting that Fili wouldn’t come sometimes because he didn’t like having only Dain and Gloin to represent the Dwarves. He then left Kili at the door of his tent, and the prince had the vague impression he was expected to remind his brother of his duties. He didn’t like the idea too much. Fili was already angry enough like that.

Trying to figure out how to convince his brother to go to a bunch of boring meetings, and fighting the first signs of yet another headache, Kili went in, and froze on the spot.

Fili and Ori were sitting together on Fili’s mattress. Close together. And they had to be close, of course, because Ori was feeding the prince with a spoon. Fili complained and protested and grunted against the taste, but he still ate, until he noticed his brother. As soon as he saw Kili, the oldest prince all but pushed Ori away, making the poor scribe spill the bowl he was holding all over his tunic.

“I thought you’d be gone longer than that!” Fili grumbled, as if he’d been caught doing something embarrassing. “How was Dwalin?”

“He thinks you’re a dick,” Kili announced, the pain in his skull too sharp to think of being kind. “And so do I. Also, Balin would like to remind you that you’re a prince, and you should act like one. And I think that’s about all the messages I’ve got for you, so if you don’t mind, I’m going to sleep.”

“Shouldn’t you eat first?”

“Not hungry. Beside, You just dropped dinner all over Ori, and it doesn’t look like there’s anything more around, right? So goodnight, see you later.”

As he went to lie on his own mattress, it was easy enough to ignore Fili’s protests, though he couldn’t help but wish Ori would have _looked_ at him.

* * *

 

Night had fallen when Kili woke up again, starving. He cursed his temper and his headache for making him miss dinner, then forced himself to sit up. He was trying to negotiate with himself to stand up, when he noticed a small, round bread next to his makeshift bed, along with a thick slice of cheese, and a pot of water. Simple as it was, it pleased him immensely, because Ori was the one who brought food to their tent, and any sign that Ori still _cared_ was a good thing. He ate quickly and quietly, and since he had nothing better to do, Kili laid down again, hoping to sleep a little more.

He did _not_ yelp when, just as he was dozing off, something pressed against him.

“It’s only me,” Fili grumbled, inserting himself under his blanket. “Come on, make some room for me!”

“Who says I want you in my bed?”

“Me. I’m saying it. Because _I_ want to be with you.”

In broad daylight and at the best of his health, Kili would have argued that it didn’t work that way.

But he was tired, and he had missed being close to his brother, so he moved until they could both fit on the small mattress. Still, to make it clear that he was angry, he turned his back to Fili. The oldest prince didn’t seem particularly disturbed by it, and he still pressed himself against his brother.

“Does Dwalin really think I’m a dick?” Fili asked, almost shyly.

“Yes. And I do too, but we’ve decided we love you like that. I mean, it’s not like it’s a big surprise or anything, we’ve known you for a while after all.”

Fili chuckled behind him.

“You’ve got a point. And… for the record… I’m sorry. It’s just, we… _I_ thought you wouldn’t make it, you and Dwalin both… I’ve been so worried, Kee. I thought you’d die, the two of you, and…”

“And you thought you’d be left behind, all alone… or worse, with just Ori,” Kili finished for him.

There was a long silence, during which Fili slipped an arm around his brother’s waist to pull him closer.

“Something like that, yeah,” Fili whispered eventually. “He… don’t, don’t tell anyone I’ve said that, but he… he’s not so bad, you know?”

Kili frowned in the dark at the way his chest suddenly felt a little tight.

“I know that,” he replied, trying to ignore the feeling. “You’re the only one who ever thought he was awful, if I may remind you. Ori is _wonderful_.”

"Hm. You did well, waking up," Fili mumbled sleepily. "Else, I'd have stolen him."

"What?" Kili hissed. "What do you mean by that? Fee? Fee!"

But the oldest prince had fallen asleep already. It probably was for the best. Kili wasn't sure he wanted to know what his brother had been trying to say.

* * *

 

It was nice, waking up again in Fili's arms. Kili had missed that too. It annoyed him a little to realize he’d stolen the blanket, but he decided that it was a small one, so it didn’t meant anything. And since he was in a good mood, he generously put half of that blanket back on Fili, before huddling as close as he could, enjoying the warmth and the feeling of not being alone.

Before long, Fili started waking up, and Kili couldn’t resist stealing a kiss, because he could, because he was alive, because he had missed that too.

“Wait until I’m better,” Fili grunted sleepily. “Soon as my hand stops hurting every time I move a finger, we’ll do ‘ _lot_ more than kiss.”

“Hm… Well, you’d better heal quick then. Waiting’s no fun.”

Fili snorted, and kissed him.

“What are you complaining about? You’re in pretty good shape, and so is Ori… _you’re_ not the one who’ll have to deal with frustration here.”

“I don’t think Ori’ll want to shag me when he won’t even talk to me. He just doesn’t love me anymore,” Kili pouted jokingly, just as the scribe came in with their breakfasts.

The young scribe froze on the spot, pale and stricken.

“I didn’t mean that!” Kili exclaimed urgently, trying to stand up but only managing to kick his brother and get himself tangled in his blanket. “Ori, it’s not… no, no, don’t _go_!”

But before the prince could free himself, his lover had neatly put the tray with their breakfast on the floor, before getting out without a word. Kili groaned, and fell back on the mattress.

“Well, that was pretty bad,” Fili noted. “I mean, that’s more the sort of things I usually do.”

“Oh, shut up you. It was just a joke! It… it wasn’t a very good joke, but… He really has been weird since I woke up.”

Fili shrugged. “Can’t say.”

“No, because you’re just as bad as him,” his brother snapped. “You two have grown… close. It’s… weird?”

“You’re the one who wanted me to be more friendly to him, weren’t you?”

“There’s a difference between being friendly, and letting him feed you,” Kili grumbled. “And he… he actually _speaks_ to you. That… that’s not fair, why does he speak to you but not to me? I… we’re… we’re in love, and I got hurt and… If he’d gotten hurt, I’d want to be with him… M’al, even like this I want to be with him, I want to hold him so bad it hurts, and he’s just… he won’t even _look_ at me! He’s never… he’s _never_ not looked at me before.”

It was a childish thing to say, and a selfish one maybe, but it was still the truth. Ori always paid attention to him, even back in Ered Luin, when they were just friend and Kili was only barely allowed to be there while the scribe worked… Even then, there were signs that Ori listened to him, little smiles and exasperated sighs, a repressed laughter here and there… even during their travels, even when Ori had been avoiding him sometimes, it had never been like that.

It was painful, being cut off from one of the dwarves he loved. It was like going back to that awful time after his Mark had appeared, when Fili and him could barely stand to be together… except there’d been a reason back then.

Kili started when his brother grabbed him by the neck to pull him close and hug him.

“He thought you were gonna die,” Fili said. “I mean, he really thought it. I _feared_ it, but he _believed_ it entirely.”

“So what, it’d be better if I had died? Should I go jump from the mountain then?”

“Kili, stop being a dick. That’s my thing. If you start stealing my thing, Dwalin will kick me out and just keep you, since everyone knows you’re the cuddly, loveable one.”

Kili snorted. “I’m not cuddly, you are.”

“Indeed, thanks for noticing.”

The younger prince pushed his brother, who pushed him back, and that ended in a playful fight that had Kili forget Ori for a moment. It wasn’t until Balin came in and found them laughing that they stopped.

“Well, and that’s the future of Erebor,” the old dwarf said with a kind smile. “Mahal help us.”

“We’re not just its future now,” Fili retorted. “We’re its present too.”

“Even worse,” Balin chuckled. “Well, Present of Erebor, how about you dress like the prince you are, and come with me meet Bard and Thranduil. Ori told me you had agreed to finally play your role?”

“Urgh, I hoped he’d have forgotten in the night that he convinced me,” Fili sighed with a grimace. “And of course he had to go and tell you this, damn little rat… well, can’t be helped. Just give me a second, I’ll join you.”

Kili didn’t say anything, but the idea that Ori had convinced his brother to do anything was… strangely unpleasant. Which was stupid, he told himself. He’d accepted fairly well the idea of seeing both his lovers with Dwalin, so he couldn’t start being jealous now, just because Ori and Fili were finally friendly, could he?

To distract himself, he started talking with Balin while Fili got dressed, chatting about everything that needed to be done, the number of wounded that needed help (Kili was informed that he’d be welcome to help as soon as the healers allowed it, and the idea pleased him. He was getting tired of not doing anything). Soon enough though, Fili was ready, and he left with Balin.

It was only then that Kili realized he hadn’t been alone once since he’d woken up… or since long before that, really. He hadn’t been alone since their time in Mirkwood... but no, even then, Tauriel had often been around, or other elves patrolling.

He hadn’t been alone like that since… before the quest, since that time when Fili had left to travel with Thorin, before Kili had first started becoming friend with Ori. And that was rather unpleasant memories.

Before long, that feeling of being alone, coupled with a dull throbbing near his left ear, was too much, and he decided to go see Dwalin. It’d be a nice change to be around someone who openly said that he was glad to see him, he decided. He dressed up quickly, grabbed a piece of bread that Ori had brought earlier (his heart clenched as he took it, and he promised himself he would apologize as soon as he could).

He never made it to Dwalin’s tent.

As soon as he took a step outside, the sun blinded him, and in a matter of seconds, a raging headache seized him. It was his worst one yet, as if an axe were hitting his skull again and again, while someone played the drums against the inside of his head. He closed his eyes, hoping it would dull the pain. It didn’t. Opening them again, on the other hand, certainly made things worse. Kili felt his legs give up under him, and it was possible that his knee hurt as they hit the ground, but that was nothing compared to the pounding in his head.

After what felt an eternity, Kili thought he heard a voice near him, calling him maybe, and someone helped him back on his feet. Someone strong, who dragged him back to his tent, and helped him lie down on his mattress. He was also given some water, after which he curled himself under his blanket and waited for everything to be over.

The sun was setting when at last, the pain subsided and Kili was able to open his eyes without feeling like the world was exploding.The first thing he saw was Ori, sitting next to him, an old book on his crossed legs. Kili looked at him for a while, unmoving. If he moved, the scribe would see it, and he might leave again.

“I know you are awake,” Ori said after a moment without lifting his eyes from his page. “You’re not breathing the same. How do you feel?”

“Like shit.”

“Not a surprise. You’ve been there for hours. The healers said I should give you water when you are better. So I prepared a glass for you.”

There was, indeed, a glass, but Kili didn’t take it.

“Ori, look at me.”

“I’m reading.”

“No you’re not. You’ve been on that page for ever, and I know you’re a fast reader. Look at me.”

Ori’s fingers clenched on the edge of his book. “Why should I?”

“Because I can’t be really sure I made it out alive until you look at me.”

It was theatrical maybe, and if Kili hadn’t just come out of the worst headache of his life, he’d have thought it was silly, laughable… 

It worked, though. Ori immediately looked at him, his face tight as if it caused him pain. Kili didn’t hesitate one second before sitting up, throwing the book away (Ori protested) and dragging his lover under the blanket with him (Ori didn’t protest _much_ ). The young scribe was strangely stiff in his arms, but at least he was _there_ , acknowledging his presence, and that felt like progress compared to the last few days.

“Sorry for what I said earlier,” Kili sighed, nuzzling his lover’s hair, enjoying the smell and warmth of him. “I was just… stupid. And I was missing you. It’s like I haven’t been with you in forever. I missed you.”

Ori tensed, and for a second the prince feared he might try to escape, so he pulled his lover closer, holding him as tight as he dared.

“They said… Fili and Dwalin said you thought I was going to die…?”

“You still might.”

Kili’s hold on the other dwarf tightened.

His mother had died like that, Dwalin had said. A blow to the head, and she’d been fine at first, until the day she hadn’t woken up.

“I’m not going to die, Ori. I’m _fine_.”

“As you proved today.”

“It was just an accident. I’m fine, love, I’m really fine.”

“You don’t know that,” Ori hissed, and it sounded almost like a sob. “I can’t… I don’t want to lose you, and it hurt… just thinking of being without you, it hurts so much. I… when they told me about you… that you might die… my first wish was that we’d never gotten together, because maybe it wouldn’t have hurt so much to lose you. I thought I was _done_ being hurt because of how I felt for you, I thought we were going to be _happy_ now. I got my hopes up, and I shouldn’t have, because now you’re…”

Kili cut him with a forceful kiss on his lips. It was probably the most desperate kiss he’d ever given anyone, and it was little more than lips crashing and teeth meeting painfully. But it was still better than having to hear about the pain he’d caused to his lover, no matter how unwillingly.

“I’m not going to die,” he repeated. “I swear I’m not.”

“You don’t _know_ that.”

“That’s right, I don’t. Maybe I’ll drop dead in a second. But if I do, should your last memory of us together really be that shitty kiss? I mean, seriously. Give me the chance, and I’ll give you last memories worth remembering.”

“I’m serious!” Ori protested, but for half a second the corner of his lips had lifted, and Kili knew he had won.

“So am I,” the prince retorted seductively. “If I knew you were maybe dying, I’d want to kiss you every chance I get, and I’d want to make love to you again and again, until I knew your body by heart, until I knew no taste but yours, no smell but yours. I’d want to make you laugh, so that I could memorize that sound and have it with me for the rest of my life. I’d look into your eyes, until I could see them every time I closed mine”

Ori didn’t smile, but he did blush, and rather heavily at that. He was so pretty like that, Kili couldn’t resist. He kissed him again, gently this time, as if Ori were fragile and delicate, which he was at times, the prince decided. His lover could fight orcs, he wasn’t afraid of trolls, and he had come unharmed from a battle that had claimed so many lives, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t easily be harmed by other things.

“You say such silly things sometimes,” Ori mumbled against the prince’s lips.

“Hm… nothing new there. But will you try to do things my way? I mean, yours didn’t seem to work that well, and it hurts for both of us. My way involves regular sex and laughing together. I know what I’d choose.”

And there it was, at last. Ori was smiling.

“You really are silly,” the scribe decided, running his fingers through his lover’s hair. “But I guess you have a point. Let’s try your way then.”

Kili grinned, the pain of his headache entirely forgotten.

“How long before Fili comes back, you think?” he asked, pulling at the hem of Ori’s cardigan.

“Long enough,” the scribe answered, kissing him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If all goes well, the next chapter should be the last  
> unless it turns out I've more things to say/I can't make everything fit in just one chapter  
> But the current plan is, next chapter is the last.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili thinks about Ori, and about the way things have changed

Fili looked at the pile of paper in front of him, and sighed.

Being a prince was no fun at all.

It already wasn’t much fun back in Ered Luin, or during the quest, because everyone expected so much of him and tried to teach him things all the time, but now that he really was a prince, it was worse than ever. He had responsibilities now. He had to make decisions and sign things and be at his uncle’s side during councils and learn about the elves of Mirkwood and the Men of Dale and many other sort of people, and he had to have secret meetings with Nori, and do so many other things, all the time.

He hated being a prince.

Some days, when things were very bad, he almost wished he hadn’t survived that damn battle, because everything was easier before… but the feeling never lasted, of course.

Being a prince was awful, but it was still better than being dead.

  
  


_Fili had dragged Kili back to the elves’ camp in Dale, praying for his brother’s life. He had to live. He just had to. Fili didn’t know what he’d do without his brother. He needed Kili like he needed air, because he was his brother, his lover, his One, the other half of his soul, and if he lost that, then there was just no point in living._

_The prince almost protested when a group of men saw them and came to help. The idea of anyone else holding Kili, when he might die, was a terrible one… but he’d lost so much blood, and one of his knee hurt so much, he could barely walk. He let the men carry his brother, limping as fast as he could behind them._

_There were elven healers at the camp. Elves could cure anything, it was said._

_The would save Kili. They had too._

_Because Fili wasn’t sure he’d survive if they didn’t save his brother._

  
  


There was a knock on the door, and Fili looked up from a report about the safety in one of the diamond mines of the North sector, a shy smile on his lips.

“Come in! But only if you’re bringing something good!”

Ori had a small smile of his own on his face as he came in with the prince’s lunch. It had become a bit of a habit since the battle. The scribe made sure he ate regularly. They didn’t talk about it, and Fili avoided the subject when Dwalin or Kili asked about it, but it was that thing they did. Their moment together. The only one they had, these days.

Sometimes, Fili missed the days right after the battle.

  
  


_The healers had forced him to sit outside the tent while they inspected Kili’s wound, because they said Fili was disturbing them otherwise. He had made them promise that if they felt him going, they would bring him back inside, so that he may hold his brother’s hand as he did. He hoped they would keep that promise, if it came to it._

_That was when he saw Ori._

_Ori unharmed._

_Ori alone._

“ _Where’s Dwalin?” the prince asked, and it was awful how weak his voice sounded._

“ _Dying. Kili?”_

“ _Same,” Fili said, because he’d seen that wound, and he’d seen the look on the healers’ face, and he wasn’t alone anymore, so there was no point in lying._

_Ori nodded, and his face hardened. “I see. Do you need something? I have to go back to my brothers, but first I had to see… well.”_

“ _I don’t need anything. I just need Kili.”_

_The scribe looked at him, a strange expression on his face._

“ _I’ll get you some food,” he decided, and Fili felt too tired to protest that he wasn’t hungry, that the very idea of eating made him sick, because both of his lovers were dying, and he couldn’t stand the idea of surviving them._

“ _Sure, whatever you want,” he’d said, already knowing that he wouldn’t swallow a bite of what Ori would bring._

  
  


“So, what did you bring for lunch today?” Fili asked, smiling. “Oh, meat pie and chips and peaches? Now that’s a nice meal.”

“Well, you did survive a meeting with the guildmasters this morning,” Ori noted. “I felt it was worthy of celebration.”

The prince’s smile widened. Most of the time, the scribe made sure he had a balanced diet, full of vegetables and fish (ironically, Ori never eat these himself) but whenever Fili had a hard day, Ori seemed to know it and he made sure to bring something special.

Sometimes, Ori also took his own meal, and they would eat together. On some days they talked, of Erebor usually. Most of the time, they remained silent, and thought about those few days when it had been the two of them, when they had thought that it would be the two of them for the rest of their lives. At least, that was what Fili thought about when they were silent together.

But on that day, Ori was just bringing the prince’s lunch, it seemed.

“It’s crazy in the library,” he explained, carefully putting down the tray on the desk. “The elves have only just remembered that they had lent us some books, and now of course they want it back, this very instant… and the library is such a mess!”

Fili smiled, and nodded in understanding. When Ori left, half running, the prince tried hard not to think that had it been Kili or Dwalin coming to see him like that, he’d have kissed them before they went.

  
  


_The sun was rising again by the time Fili was allowed inside the tent where his brother was dying. The healers insisted there was hope, but the prince barely dared to believe them. It would hurt so much if they were wrong…_

_But it was easy to pretend all was right, in the end. As long as Fili didn’t look at the bandages on his brother’s head, as long as he forced himself not to noticed how gray his skin was, he could almost pretend that Kili was just sleeping. In a few moments, he would wake up, his cheerful self as usual, and he would joke about the scars he had gotten in the battle, and how he was now clearly the most attractive out of the two of them… which Fili would counter with his lost finger, but Kili would laugh and claim that wasn’t impressive at all._

_He stayed a while, trying to imagine what would happen when his brother would wake up. He didn’t notice Ori had joined him until he heard his voice behind him._

“ _I’ve got food,” he announced. “Broth, with bits of meat and greens in it. The healers said it would help you get better soon.”_

“ _Not hungry. Go away.”_

“ _It doesn’t taste great,” Ori continued as if he hadn’t heard anything. Sitting next to Fili, he looked disdainfully at the soup. “It’s elf made, of course… I’ll try to get you something nicer tomorrow, if the elves let our cooks have access to their supplies. Still, it’s food, and you need it.”_

“ _I said I wasn’t hungry!”_

_It was a lie, and deep down inside him Fili could feel his hunger. He had not eaten since before the battle. He didn’t care. He couldn’t eat when Kili wasn’t eating. All he wanted was to be alone with his dying brother, to pretend that things were going to be fine._

_Ori shrugged, and brought a spoonful of broth to the prince’s mouth. Fili glared at him._

“ _I’ll leave when you have eaten, and only then,” the scribe informed him placidly. “If you throw this away, I will get more and make you eat it.”_

“ _I hate you,” Fili hissed. “I fucking hate you. It should have been you taking this blow, not him. He’s worth something, he’s a good dwarf, and you… you’re the worst little shit that ever was, you’re a liar and a thief, and it should have been_ _ **you**_ _.”_

“ _Yes, it should have been me,” Ori agreed, something in his tone making Fili shiver. “For once, we agree. It doesn’t change anything to the fact that you are going to eat. Once you have eaten, I will leave you alone, until your next meal. So let’s get this over with, if you don’t mind.”_

_For a second, Fili thought of grabbing the bowl and throwing its content at Ori’s face…_

_Instead, he opened his mouth, and allowed the scribe to feed him. Once the bowl was empty, the younger dwarf left without a word, and Fili almost wished he would have stayed._

_They might have pretended together._

  
  


Fili was just starting to enjoy the slice of canned peaches that Ori had brought when his door opened again, and Dwalin came in. The prince made the mistake of trying to smile at him, which resulted in juice dripping from his mouth and unto his beard, much to the warrior’s hilarity.

“And that’s the future king of Erebor! Look at you, worse than a child.”

“Hm… I suppose. Won’t you help me clean up a bit, since I’m such a _dirty_ boy?”

Dwalin laughed, and approached to give him a filthy kiss that had Fili wanting more. He didn’t often allow himself to have a quick shag during the day, let alone in his office, but he was in the mood for it all of a sudden.

Dwalin wasn’t.

“Your brother’s having a headache,” he announced. “He said it wasn’t one of his worst ones, but it looks like it might last.”

Fili winced. Kili had been suffering from headaches since he’d woken up. He’d tried to keep it hidden for a long while, with a little help from Ori… until the scribe had grown too worried and told Dwalin, who had told both Oin and Fili. The oldest prince had been furious that his brother would keep anything so serious a secret… but mostly, he’d been worried. And even after Oin had assured that the headaches were painful but probably not dangerous, they still worried.

“Anything I can do to help?” Fili asked.

“I’ll be staying with him until tonight. Didn’t really have anything planned. But Kili was supposed to help Ori in the library, so… could you warn him that won’t happen?”

“I can even go help him myself,” Fili replied, sucking on a slice of peach. “I had a few things to do, but it can wait. Beside, Ori really seemed upset about that business with the elves when he was there, so helping him with benefit the greater good. You know he’s awful when he’s upset, he gets all bossy and everything…”

Dwalin lifted an eyebrow, and Fili quickly looked away, biting his lip. Of course Dwalin didn’t know. He hadn’t seen how Ori had been, after the battle. Kili was the only one to have caught glimpses of it, and it didn’t appear that he remembered any of it. A part of Fili liked it better that way. It had been an awful couple days, but it had been theirs, Ori’s and his, the only thing they had managed to share…

  
  


_Meals were a battle of will. Fili didn’t want to eat, at first because part of him had seen no point in it when he was going to lose both his soulmates, but now it was just because it gave him a twisted sort of pleasure to piss Ori off. There were so many things he couldn’t control at the moment, so he had to enjoy every bit of power he could get._

_But Ori, being Ori, ruined it all by accepting every insult thrown his way as if he deserved them. Fili shouted and shouted, throwing the scribe’s failings to his face, calling him a thief and a traitor and a whore and many other worse things… and Ori still held out a spoon for the prince, waiting until Fili was done yelling to feed him._

“ _Why do you bother?” the prince asked him once, just as Ori was leaving the tent. “You don’t even like me, and I hate you, why are you taking care of me?”_

“ _Because until we know for sure your uncle will make it, you are the king of Erebor.”_

“ _That’s a lie, you dirty little shithole.”_

“ _Yes, it’s a lie,” Ori admitted. “Maybe I’m doing it because Balin asked me to.”_

“ _That’s a lie too.”_

“ _Yes, it is. Then let’s say I’m keeping you alive because you are my soulmate, even if neither of us is too happy with that fact, and also because I know Kili and Dwalin would want me to take care of you. Is that one a lie too?”_

_Fili frowned, and took a moment to think about it. “I honestly don’t know.”_

“ _Then maybe it’s the truth,” Ori said with a shrug, and he left._

_When he came again with Fili’s next meal, the prince protested against being fed, but he never insulted Ori again._

  
  


Dwalin stole a slice of peach, and it was a proof of Fili’s great love for him that he allowed it. That, and because there was something about the sight of the huge dwarf licking some of the juice from his fingers. Dwalin noticed his interest of course, and smirked.

“Let’s make a deal, lad. If you’re good and you help Ori without being a dick, then I’ll make sure to reward your good behaviour later tonight. How about that?”

Fili smiled, and quickly agreed. He didn’t need incentives to be nice to Ori, not anymore… but he’d have had to be stupid to not grab his chance when Dwalin spoke of rewarding him.

His rewards were usually very creatives and pleasant, after all.

They left his office together, and walked together a little way, chatting about Dwalin’s recrues and Fili’s trouble with noble dwarves. When they had to go their own ways, Fili kissed his lover, asked him to take good care of Kili, and then he turned toward the library.

He hadn’t gone there very often, truth be told. And by not often, he meant never at all. The library was Ori’s domain, and even with what had happened between them, Fili still wasn’t quite sure he was allowed in there.

Judging by the scribe’s surprised smile when he saw him come in, he was.

“Well, I was expecting a prince, but not that one,” Ori grinned. “Where is Kili?”

“Headache. I offer myself in replacement, if you’ll have me?”

Ori didn’t answer right away, and there was a slight blush on his cheeks as he stared at Fili… but then, he chuckled, clearly amused by the dramatic proposition. “You’ll do, I suppose. It’s not like your brother is that good at helping here anyway… but he tells some nice jokes, and that’s why we keep him around, really.”

“Then I’ll do my best to help with the troops’ moral.”

Ori laughed again, and started telling him what books they were looking for.

  
  


_The day after Fili stopped insulting Ori, after dinner, he asked the scribe to stay with him a little._

“ _I don’t get many visits, and it gets lonely here,” he explained defensively. “Kili’s isn’t good company these days.”_

_It had been meant to be a joke. Ori didn’t even smile. Fili couldn’t blame him for it._

“ _The dead never are good company,” the scribe retorted, his voice tight._

“ _He’s not dead yet.”_

“ _He might as well be.”_

_Fili didn’t know what to answer to that, so he said nothing, and just tried to not think about how much he felt, just by having someone sitting next to him. Part of him wanted to take Ori in his arms and hold him tight, to see if it might make him less lonely… but he wasn’t sure the scribe would have tolerated it. Ori wasn’t doing this for him, after all. He’d said it himself: he was only taking care of Fili for Dwalin and Kili’s sake._

“ _What are we going to do if they die?” Fili asked after a while. The question had been eating at him for days now, but he didn’t expect an answer…_

_He still got one._

“ _Maybe we could stay together,” Ori whispered, so low that the prince almost didn’t hear him. “I know you don’t like me, and I don’t always like you either, but sometimes… sometimes, I do.”_

_Fili started in surprise, and stared at the younger dwarf. Ori blushed, and looked away._

“ _Sorry, shouldn’t have said that,” he mumbled, trying to stand up. “It was stupid… I know you don’t want me around, but I thought…”_

“ _No, I… Ori, stay, please!” Fili begged, grabbing the scribe by the wrist to pull him back down. He winced at the sharp pain in his hand, because of course he’d been an idiot and had used the wrong side, but somehow the pain didn’t matter. Not when Ori liked him. Maybe it was just because he’d been so lonely, for days, but somehow Ori liking him was suddenly the most important thing in the world. “It’s okay, I… I want you to stay. Please, if… if it’s ever the two of us, stay with me. Don’t leave me alone. I need you, please don’t leave me alone.”_

_Ori’s eyebrows rose high on his face, as if he couldn’t quite believe what he was hearing… and who could blame him, and Fili had always tried to get rid of him in the past? But that had been before, when they weren’t alone, when Fili hadn’t been about to lose the two most important people in his life and forced to face the fact that Ori was just as important._

_He almost kissed the scribe then._

_It would have been better if he had, he would think later. And really, he had tried, leaning toward Ori, putting his unharmed hand on the younger dwarf’s cheek, and…_

_And Balin had barged in, crying and smiling._

“ _Dwalin woke up!”_

  
  


Ori made a show of how furious and jealous he was that Fili had managed to find one of the books before him.

“That’s just beginner's luck,” he grumbled with a pout, and the other scribes around laughed.

“Or maybe I’m just better than you at this,” Fili retorted with a grin.

It was a joke, and he hoped that Ori would realize it was a joke. He should not have joked, he had no right to joke with Ori, not after all the ‘playful’ insults he’d thrown at him sometimes…

It was a relief when Ori just stuck out it tongue at him.

  
  


_Things didn’t change too much after Dwalin woke up._

_Fili just went to visit him once, Ori helping him walk there… and the state his lover was his, the gray and red of his skin, was more than the prince could bear. It suddenly hit him how close he had been to lose Dwalin, how he might still lose him, because it wouldn’t take much for his wounds to get infected._

_Fili didn’t dare to visit him again._

_Ori didn’t suggest it again. Just as he didn’t say a word about the way they had almost kissed that night._

_Nothing changed._

_Fili couldn’t decide if it was a good thing or not._

  
  


Ori was the one would found the next two missing books, and Fili was forced to admit that the young dwarf knew his way around a library better than he did. He also pointed out that they now had three books, out of thirty.

He pretended to be offended when everyone called him a killjoy.

  
  


_It all changed when Kili woke up._

_Ori didn’t linger nearly as long in the tent, for one thing. It was almost as if he were afraid of being near Kili… and maybe he was. He’d seemed so sure that Kili was going to die. He talked of the younger prince in past tense sometimes, as if his actual death were but a detail to him. And it hurt Kili to be treated so coldly, Fili could see it, but he didn’t try to make Ori change his behaviour._

_It was selfish of him maybe, but he enjoyed being the only one to have Ori’s attention. He knew he wouldn’t last._

_It didn’t last._

_One day, after Balin had forced him to attend a meeting with the elves and the Men, Fili limped back to their tent to find Ori and Kili making love. They didn’t notice him, too caught up in their pleasure, and the oldest prince left them alone._

_Whatever he’d had with Ori, that was the end of it._

_Suddenly, Kili and Ori were always together, the younger prince following his lover everywhere, even when he went to fetch food for the three of them. Fili took it as his cue that he was supposed to start feeding himself like the grown up dwarf that he was._

_Because as soon as he was in the same room as them, Kili stared at him warily, finding plenty of excuses to touch Ori every occasion he had. Fili had never expected his brother could be so possessive, but he realized it shouldn’t have surprised him. They were brothers after all._

_Even when they were able to leave their tents into Erebor, even when Dwalin was better and able to be in their company again, Kili remained just as protective of his young lover… but he only protected him against Fili._

“ _You’re the only one of us that could hurt him,” Kili explained when one night Fili dared to point out his strange behaviour. “I don’t know what you’re playing at, being so… nice to him. I don’t know what happened after the battle. He won’t talk about it, and neither do you…”_

“ _That’s because nothing happened, Kee,” he lied._

“ _Yeah, and uncle’s an elf. I know we’ve told you to try and get along with him, and it was great when you actually tried… but I don’t like the way you’re trying to… to seduce him, or something. I don’t know what you’re trying to get from him… but I won’t let you hurt him, I just won’t. So if you’re trying to play with him, just stop.”_

“ _I’m not playing!”_

“ _Yeah? Then do a better job of showing you’re_ _ **serious**_ _,” Kili snapped at him._

_Fili frowned, suddenly confused._

“ _What, what’s that supposed to mean?”_

“ _ **Guess**_ _,” Kili shrugged, before going away to join Ori for the night._

  
  


By the end of the afternoon, they had found every single one of the books they were looking for. Some of them were in a terrible state of course, and Ori cursed the dragon and the old librarians more than once, but at least, the elves should be satisfied.

Ori was clearly in a delightful mood as Fili and him walked together toward Kili’s bedroom. He was smiling and chatting cheerfully, babbling about what a nice meal he’d get for Fili the next day, as a reward for how helpful he’d been…

Fili wasn’t sure how they went from that to him grabbing Ori’s wrist and pulling him close to kiss him. It might have been something the scribe had said, or his smile, or the way his braids moved as he walked… 

Whatever the reason that had finally pushed Fili to do what he’d wanted for so long (since at least before the battle… maybe even since Laketown, and that afternoon they had spent together, just the four of them), it was everything he’d imagined. Ori’s lips were softer, softer than Kili’s or Dwalin’s, his large nose bumping against Fili’s cheek, and it felt good, right somehow. As if he’d been missing something before without knowing what it was, only to suddenly figure it out. It was the best feeling in the world.

It didn’t even last a full minute before Ori pushed him away, looking positively scandalized.

“What do you think you’re doing?” the scribe hissed. “That’s… that isn’t okay, n-not at all!”

Fili felt as if he’d been punched in the face. He wouldn’t have gone so far as to presume that Ori loved him (they still had a long way to go before either of them could speak of love, he knew it) but after all that had happened, he’d thought that his affections wouldn’t been entirely unwelcome. Clearly, he had been wrong.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “That was uncalled for. I’ll never bother you again, just, please don’t tell Kili and Dwalin, they’ll be furious, and…”

Ori sniggered.

That also wasn’t a reaction Fili might have expected.

“You are so dramatic,” Ori accused him with a shy grin. “I don’t know how I never realized it before… well, I was too scared to notice I guess, but _Mahal_ … you’re just as dramatic as a Noldor.”

“A… what?”

“They’re elves that even other elves find overdramatic,” the scribe explained, and his grin widened a little. “And you’re just as bad. It’s not that you… that you can’t kiss me ever! I… I’m fine with that, I think. You’re… not quite as bad as I used to think, really.”

“Ah. Thanks? But, then, why did you…”

“Because you’ve got to _ask_ ,” Ori snapped. “I’m… Just because there’s a drawing on my wrist, it doesn’t mean you’ve got rights over me, and… and I don’t mind, but, but you’ve _got_ to ask. Because… because if Kili can ask, and if Dwalin can ask too, then… then certainly, you’re capable of it too.”

Fili nodded slowly, and feeling a little guilty that he had acted without any sort of permission. Even if Kili and Dwalin didn’t mind being just grabbed and kissed or fucked in a corner, Ori wasn’t them… beside, he hadn’t even done that with them right from the start anyway. He couldn’t treat Ori as if he was worthy of less respect than his other two lovers.

Not anymore.

“I’m sorry,” Fili said solemnly. “I should not have done it like that, and I won’t do it like that again.”

Ori smiled, and waited.

“Well?” he asked after a moment. “Is that all?”

The prince frowned, trying to figure out what he had forgotten to say…

He smiled when he found it.

“Ori, may I kiss you?”

The younger dwarf smiled back.

“Yes, you may.”

Fili grinned, and pulled him in his arms for another kiss.

There was still a long way to go for them, for all four of them, he knew it.

But at least, they would be doing it all together.

  
The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG LOOKED I FINISHED SOMETHING  
> I mean, it doesn't happen often, I feel that's worthy of celebration...XD  
> Anyway, thanks to everyone who read, whether they commented or remained silent. I hope you enjoyed the ride as much as I did uwu


End file.
